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So the backstory is that one of my closest friends (f 27) is getting married in November. She is also close friends with the girl († 27) who basically tormented me in high school and I knew that she would be at any life events and I accepted that and was up for being uncomfortable. However in January of 2023 l had a bit of a mental breakdown and attempted. Since then my mental health has been on a decline, l've been unable to work, go out alone etc.. for context I have always struggled with my mental health, I have been on and off anti depressants since I was 16, panic attacks, and the bully from high school contributed to my worsening mental health as a teen. Still I previously accepted that I would have to see her from time to time. I understand that she has a friendship with us both and it's not fair for me to ask her to choose between two very close friends. However with my worsening mental health and also my sister is going through something where the court date will be in the same month as her wedding I don't think I can handle being around my bully.

So I sent her this message "Since you told me about you getting married I've had this pit in my stomach It's cause I don't think I can hack being around T again I understand she's your friend and I never wanna put you in the position to choose between anyone But I have to put my health first especially cause I can't risk getting worse around H's court case I need to be there for her Since I had my breakdown I can't handle things anymore Just went on a walk and ended up discussing how I was feeling and had a panic attack in the park I don't wanna ruin your day by having menty b l'm so so so sorry and I feel so so sad about missing out on such an important day but it's not fair for me to ask you to not have your friend there for me But I don't think I can be at any event with her there So I would love to be a part of your big day, I'll still love to do your Mehndi and help you shop, decorate, pack sweets whatever you need I just can't do it I'm sorry"

She was not happy with this message and basically doesn't want to be friends anymore and thinks ! didn't think about her feelings at all, made a decision without talking to her about it. I don't know if it was wrong of me to message her this and now I'm so upset to have lost a friend l've had since year

1. So am I the asshole for sending her this message and saying I can’t come to her wedding?

This happened over a year ago, but after spending so much time listening to your hot takes, I figured why not share now.

For context, my coworker (60?F) loves to pull pranks and push boundaries all the time. Many teachers at our (high) school just put up with it because they know she will retire soon and most the time you can just laugh it off. I (27F) am more of one to just stare blankly when I don’t find the “joke” funny. Also, my husband, (29M) teaches across the hall from both me and coworker.

Husband and I found out we were pregnant just 2 months after our wedding. We were excited and going thru all the emotions of early pregnancy (the good, the bad, the ugly). When it came time for my first OB appointment, I took the day off work (we live 2 hours from the nearest hospital with an OBGYN/Birth unit) and told my coworkers that I was going for a me day and my yearly eye exam. Who would question that? My husband couldn’t come because he coaches and had a game that night.

The day of my appointment, all goes well and the alien inside me is looking good, which eases those early pregnancy nerves. We were 9 weeks pregnant and decided that even tho all was good, we wouldn’t announce anything until at least 12 weeks. My husband calls me and lets ne know that he got bombarded by coworkers at lunch with comments like “I can’t believe you let her go to a baby appointment alone.” He just played with our lie and said that isn’t what I was doing and asked why I wasn’t allowed to just take a day for myself.

The next morning I am teaching my 7th grade class and out of the blue, coworker comes in and loudly yells, “CONGRATULATIONS!!!” I ask what she means and she says, “well, I know you went to the doctor yesterday, congratulations on your pregnancy!!” I look at her dumbfounded while my whole class gets gitty. I instantly shut her down and say, “I was at the eye doctor, so I am not sure what you mean.” And walk to my class door to shoo her out and shut the door. I then tell my students that she just assumed something people should never openly assume and asked them not to repeat that she said that, gave them their activity, texted my principal (who knew I was pregnant) and asked him to come cover my class while I gathered myself. I was so mad and sad. He covered and I believe talked to my kids because they never mentioned it again which is odd for middle schoolers.

My husband and I ate lunch alone in his classroom that day to avoid the coworker because I knew I would blow up.

That night I went to our local restaurant that does to-go meals on certain nights of the week. This particular special meal is extremely popular so you have to stand in line to order, I am talking at least 50 people who all know each other (small town) in a line for food. Coworker is there and tries to butter me up and say hello. I give her a cold “hi,” and continue talking to the person next to me. Coworker then begins to press me on why I am upset. I ask her to not talk right now and that we can chat later on. She keeps pressing and I say, “look, if you really want to do this here, with everyone around, go for it. But I really think this is a discussion for later.” She asked once more and I snap. “Do you really think its okay to assume people are pregnant AND announce it in front of a ton of students? I told you I was at the eye doctor yesterday, I was unaware that my vag and eyes were connected. Also, what if I was at the OB and found out something bad? I had miscarried, had cancer, had a false pregnancy, couldn’t conceive a baby? There are so many reasons to never assume and announce pregnancies - women go thru terrible losses and news all the time. And you know what Coworker? What if I am pregnant- you just sucked all the fun of my secret right out of me and spilt the beans that Husband and I wanted to share on our own. Lucky for you we aren’t. Are you happy now?” She looked at me dumbfounded and sheepishly said “well it was just supposed to be a joke..” I rolled my eyes and turned away. A few women around me commended me for speaking up but I still got in my car and sobbed on the drive home.

When we did announce the pregnancy, she popped in my room and said “I KNEW IT! Glad we can move past everything now.”

My daughter is now almost one and I am dreading going back to work and seeing this woman every day again. I still can’t look at her without being annoyed. She still hasn’t given me a real apology. So AITA for flipping on her in public and still being upset?

Edit: I did file a formal report and know she met with admin. But have never been told what came of it. She keeps her distance for the most part..

Edit 2: I live in a town of 2000 people, our high school building is 7th-12th grade with about 175 students total. We call the 7/8 kids middle schoolers. It is a very small, rural town, which is common in the midwest.

Edit 3: Principal knew because I needed him to know if anything happened and because I visited the bathroom to vomit once and needed a reason for leaving my kids quickly. Coworker just “assumed” because I was newly married and went to the doctor. Principal did not leak, he is a great and trustworthy source.

Just started watching NSBU, and wow, it's both thrilling and hilarious! My friends were super excited when I mentioned possibly running the game with them, so we had a game session recently. Big shoutout to whoever made that game system Google doc on this subreddit – it was a lifesaver. Also used ChatGPT to fill in some gaps.

I think this was the most fun I've ever had DMing. I said yes to almost everything and kept the rules super light. The session ended with us breaking into Buckingham Palace, stealing the Queen's (I forgot that it's a king now) scepter and crown jewels, and then blowing up the palace, effectively ending the Royal Family. Quick shoutout to my Indiana Jones inspired PC, who yelled 'For Diana and Megan!' while leaving the exploding palace in a helicopter. Absolute insanity.

What a race and what a finish.

Lyles had so many people watching to either cheer for or against him, he came up second in his semis race and barely eked out a victory.

Thrilling

Activist Molly Conger does deep dives on alt right trolls, Podcasters and other assholes.

And they’re exposing themselves hard now. Some of them aren’t even trying to hide it. I feel so dumb for not knowing better that this is the type of company they keep.