Michael Coldwell

Michael Coldwell
Michael Coldwell's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Starburst
Publications: Starburst

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
6/10 71% Vivarium (2020) Imogen Poots is a fine actress and goes to pieces rather brilliantly, and Jesse Eisenberg sucks the air out of every scene he's in, which may or may not be brilliant acting. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 24, 2020
8/10 59% The Exorcist III (1990) [George C. Scott] delivers a soulfully pained performance as detective Kinderman from the first movie. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 27, 2019
3/10 63% Yesterday (2019) If you must gorge yourself to this soft-focus treacle, be prepared to have the White Album on constant repeat for a full week afterwards to get your insulin level out of danger. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 12, 2019
10/10 99% Apollo 11 (2019) Apollo 11's bold focus on the key emotional stages of the mission takes you back through a story you thought you knew in a way that is utterly immersive. The past has rarely been so present. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted May 20, 2019
6/10 60% Greta (2019) The oodles of class Huppert brings to proceedings are hobbled by a script that crunches through the gears rather too predictably once the big 'ah-ha!' twist is out the way early on. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 12, 2019
9/10 90% Opera (1987) An exercise in extremity, always strongest when shunting things into overdrive. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 10, 2018
No Score Yet Rats - Notte di terrore (Blood Kill) (Rats: Night of Terror) (1984) There's plenty of ratty nastiness, all wonderfully pre-CGI and much of it quite well done, without ever hitting Fulci-levels of ickyness. That said, fans of 80s video rental gore will be delighted with the deaths on offer. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 12, 2018
7/10 53% Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear (1988) The absurdity is played up, the dark laughs are plentiful and some very-repeatable lines of dialogue suggest Romero may have been midway through a John Waters marathon at the time. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 8, 2018
7/10 29% Venom (2018) Taken for what it is, Venom is a good night out -- a fast-paced, often hilarious creature feature that's nowhere near the train wreck critics would have you believe. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 5, 2018
7/10 No Score Yet Inheritance (2017) Inheritance won't satisfy all tastes, but if you like your horror enigmatic and your scares truly earned, it's a refreshing take on the haunted house genre. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 1, 2018
10/10 90% Mandy (2018) If it occurs to you as [Cage] slashes, shoots and screams his way to the climax (pausing only to snort a giant heap of coke off a shard of broken mirror) that you are witnessing his finest hour, you'd be dead right. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 11, 2018
7/10 57% Hotel Artemis (2018) Hotel Artemis is futuristic chamber piece a million miles from Pearce's usual big-budget hunting ground that benefits from its focused scope, top cast, and off-beat concept. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 25, 2018
7/10 40% Cannibal Ferox (1981) Cannibal Ferox might not fit most people's idea of entertainment but you, dear readers, are not most people. Well worth a look if you have the stomach for it. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 16, 2018
7/10 No Score Yet Mountain of the Cannibal God (La montagna del dio cannibale) (Primitive Desires) (Slave of the Cannibal God) (1978) Mountain of the Cannibal God is probably the classiest of the entrail-ripping cannibal genre. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 1, 2018
6/10 89% Mary and The Witch's Flower (2018) There's nothing here we haven't seen done before -- and better. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted May 8, 2018
8/10 37% Anon (2018) A high-concept popcorn movie and none the worse for that, Anon gets the tech noir job done and will leave you pondering your digital footprint as you nervously exit the theatre. Mind the step. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted May 3, 2018
3/10 No Score Yet Offerings (1989) Offerings isn't stylish enough to be considered a homage: whenever anything sinister is about to happen, the first seven notes of the Halloween theme are played to remind you whose porch Reynolds is pooping on. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 12, 2018
2/10 30% Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017) [Ziering] may be wise-cracking his way through this stuff with a self-aware smirk, but look deep into his eyes and you'll see something else staring back this movie can only dream about: blind terror. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 12, 2018
7/10 67% The Final Master (2016) Confusing it may be, boring it isn't. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 6, 2018
8/10 67% The Lullaby (2018) Steeped in horror tradition and drenched in the red stuff, The Lullaby is a fiendishly nasty bit of babysitting well worth staying in for. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 28, 2018
4/10 48% Downsizing (2017) The really sobering economy of scale about this overlong auteur indulgence is that it cost $68 million to make and none of that money went on a script doctor. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 1, 2018
7/10 81% The Cat o' Nine Tails (Il gatto a nove code) (1971) The casting is spot-on. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 25, 2018
6/10 No Score Yet Edgar Allan Poe's Lighthouse Keeper (2017) Worth checking out if you come across it (as opposed to seeking out), The Lighthouse Keeper is a modest scare-fest which channels the neurotic introspection Poe brought to the likes Fall of the House of Usher and The Pit and the Pendulum. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 14, 2017
4/10 No Score Yet Blood Harvest (1982) The Blood Harvest looks like it was a lot of fun to make but is a chore to watch, lacking the spark to lift it above the pack in a crowded indie-horror marketplace. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 9, 2017
7/10 88% Life After Flash (2017) A life-affirming tribute to a cult movie and its star who triumphed against the odds, Life After Flash could do without those unrelated interviews but, at its core is a fascinating tale that all fans of the 1980 movie should seek out. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 8, 2017
9/10 93% Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Thor: Ragnarok is an awesomely entertaining premier league win for Thor that fizzes with inventive energy. Nine years and 17 movies into the MCU, that's got to be worth some serious flagons of ale. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 19, 2017
9/10 82% The Party (1968) Even in bad films (and he made quite a few) Peter Sellers couldn't help being good. But this is up there with his very best, which makes it damn near unmissable. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 18, 2017
9/10 No Score Yet In My Mind (2017) You should never meet your heroes, apparently. You'll be glad Chris Rodley did. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 29, 2017
8/10 64% Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (Kaubôi Bibappu: Tengoku no Tobira) (2003) While not the strongest story of the whole saga, Cowboy Bebop: The Movie is an extended dip in a uniquely mind-bending pool. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 29, 2017
9/10 80% Don't Torture a Duckling (1972) Cruel, beautiful and all the colours in between, Don't Torture a Duckling is a compelling and beguiling work from a greatly underrated filmmaker. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 13, 2017
7/10 90% The Boy And The Beast (Bakemono No Ko) (2016) It looks fantastic. Momoda's penchant for meticulously detailed vistas teaming with life is well represented in scenes of Tokyo's densely populated streets and the gargantuan battle arena of the Beast Kingdom - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 25, 2017
8/10 75% Kong: Skull Island (2017) So, big sigh of relief, the ape is back in shape and just maybe we have ourselves a franchise. Stick around after the credits for a Kong vs. Everything primer. Bring it on! - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 9, 2017
8/10 42% A Cure For Wellness (2017) You ... have to admire Verbinski's audacity for pulling off such a sprawling and decidedly un-Hollywood slice of strangeness in this day and age. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 23, 2017
10/10 89% John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) John Wick: Chapter 2 is one righteous MOFO of a movie. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 10, 2017
9/10 90% The Lego Batman Movie (2017) As with the first film, it's the little details and character moments that stay with you. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 2, 2017
8/10 18% Rupture (2017) Rupture may not have the cleverest title of the year or be particularly original, but with Rapace at its centre in stark raving terrified mode, it's a committed stab of strangeness that'll keep you guessing through to an admirably dark conclusion. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2016
8/10 74% We Are the Flesh (Tenemos la carne) (2017) We Are The Flesh is a bizarrely arresting treat from an exciting new talent. It's also just about the strangest film you'll see this year. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2016
9/10 No Score Yet Mécanix (2003) It's great to discover a fearsome little secret like Mecanix exists. - Starburst EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 11, 2016