IT'S HAPPY HOUR!!
— Anton/Annie proclaiming the start of the Happy Hour
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Cutscenes
Satan: Mirror, mirror on the wall, magical knower of things all! Tell me now: am I the rrrrreddest?
Magic Mirror: Well, of course, My Lord. But... t-there is... a-another...
Satan:Great, all-powerful Mirror of question-based magic... Who among the earth-walking crrretins shines more crrrimson than I?
Magic Mirror: W-well, there's a red guy, he...
Magic Mirror: Upon looking into this... further... uh... It would seem his name is... Dynamite Anton..?
Satan: MOOOOOLES! I demand that you FIND this Antoine, find out what he loves the most and... TAKE IT FROM HIM!! He will come rrrrunning, and I will siphon his delightfully rrrosy tone, LEAVING ME THE RRRREDDEST BEING ON -and-slash-or in - THE PLANET!!!
— Satan and his Magic Mirror, intro cutscene
Anton: Annie, you useless lump! Look what ya did!
Annie: (cough) Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. There we go. (goes back to sleep)
Anton: AAAAAAAGH! That DOES IT! I'm gonna find out who did this and blast 'em into teenie-tiny little pieces!
— Anton and Annie, intro cutscene
Brulo: OHHHHHHHH! Ohhhh no, no God dammit Anton, what the hell are you doing here?!
Anton: Yeah, DAMMIT! Goddam son of a BITCH! I don't wanna be here either!
Brulo: W-w-what the hell are you talking about?! I banned YOU for not paying your tabs. It's been months ago!
Anton: Well, uh, y'know maybe we better just say I banned myself y'know, 'cuz uh, I know better than to frequent a place that doesn't respect my time, y'know. Have ya seen the state of the place? I mean look at it! Paltry drink selection really. And d'ya ever see the guy behind the bar? BLEUGH!
Brulo: Hey!
Anton: And don't tell the health inspector but I think it smells like cat piss in here.
Brulo: Augh, and that's not even the worst of it... business has NEVER been worse! Lately, there's been a Satanic aura all over my different businesses, Anton... lot's of those little critters runnin' around, placing big orders without paying, not even leavin' a tip... it got so bad my wife left me.
Anton: Didn't yer wife left you years ago?
Brulo: Don't you have somewhere to be?
Anton: Yeah, as a matter of facts, I do. Some slimy ass rat bastard stole the Spirits I took behind yer counter. I'd say my time is better spent takin' care of THAT uh... hearin' you cry about yer dead wife or whatever.
Brulo: W-w-wait a minute...
Anton: Uh, okay?
Brulo: I'll tell you what... I'll let you use my establishment as your place of operations to get back your spirits, and as long as you make a good clearin' out of those Satanic pests screwin' up my business... I'll lift the ban!
Anton: Well uh, I gotta admit I kiiiinda missed 'da place! ...and uh... you too, I guess.
Brulo: The feeling is not mutual! Now get out of here before I change my mind! (you little bastard...)
— Anton and Brulo meeting after Anton makes it through Boiler City (Only if Anton is played)
Brulo: OH MAN! OH GOD no no no no no, what are you doing here again?!
Brulo: You can win all the punchball tournaments you want, lady, I gotta give ya TEA. I DON'T gotta let ya squat here! Don't you see I'm dealin' with something apocalyptic?!
Annie: Ohhhhh yeah. I did notice a certain fresh new smog rolling through. Now that you- uhhh... now that you mention it.
Brulo: Oh, real observant! That's not even the worst of it! There are all these little HELLSPAWN running around roughshod over all my establishments! Even the less rambunctious ones are racking up huge orders, and they don't tip well!
Annie: Whoa. That's awesome.
Brulo: No it's not! You know how hard it is to find an exterminator who does demons? ...Don't you have somewhere to be?!
Annie: Not really. That's why I'm here.
Brulo: Well, unless you're gonna help me out, get lost! I got mysterious auras to disperse! M insurance does NOT cover for mysterious aura!
Annie: Yyyyeah, I'll think about it.
Brulo: I doubt that.
Annie: See ya!
— Annie and Brulo meeting after Annie makes it through Boiler City (Only if Annie is played)
Satan: Oh, good! You're herrre! I was beginning to wonderrr if you'd everrr show! My worrd... You bloom even morrre delightfully rrred in perrrson.
Anton: Who in the hell are you?
Satan:Ohohoho, my crrimson frrriend... Once I gatherrrr the rrest of those currrsed Spirrits, neither you norr I will have to worrry about this any longerrrr.
Anton: Hm.... Hm.... IT WAS YOU! YOU'RE THE BLASTED DEVIL THAT STOLE MY SPIRITS!
Satan: Hehe, guilty as charged! Impressed?
Anton: I OUGHTA BLAST YOU TO KINGDOM COME RIGHT HERE, YOU GREASY SON OF A BITCH!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH‽
Satan: Ohohoho, I'm afrrraid I know exactly who I'm dealing with, Antoine. Anyway, I hate to cut things off, but I have morrre prressing matterrrs to attend to. Ta-ta for now!
— Anton and Satan meeting personally for the first time (Before Jewel Ghoul fight if Anton is played)
Satan: Oh hello, rrred gu- ...Huh? Who are you?
Annie: I was wondering the same thing. But uh... Ya know, about you. (cough)
Satan: That doesn't matter. Can you bring the red one out instead?
Annie: Huh? Eh... You mean uh... Anton? Why would you wanna talk to him?
Satan: Well, frrrankly, my tiny friend, it's none of your business.
Annie: Do ya know where our TV is?
Satan: Oh, SHUT UP! I don't have time for this!
— Annie getting on Satan's nerves (Before Jewel Ghoul fight if Annie is played)
Satan's Pre-Level Intermissions
Take a screenshot, It'll last longer!
Ah! I never! (if the player actually takes a screenshot)
—Before Slowroast Sewer
The Devil's in the details.
—Before Slowroast Sewer
Didn't expect the Devil himself to flash before your eyes? This isn't a game...
—Before Slowroast Sewer
No matter how hard things may seem now, just know they can only get worse.
—Before Cinnamon Springs
To be red or not to be red... that is the question.
—Before Cinnamon Springs
I know what Antoine's middle name is, but I'll never tell!
—Before Cinnamon Springs
Ahem! My eyes are up here!
—Before Bomb Candy Mines
It takes true modesty to live with such deep redness as I possess.
—Before Bomb Candy Mines
They say the Devil was handsome when he was young... I say he still is!
—Before Bomb Candy Mines
Better the Devil you know... Than the Devil you don't!
—When replaying Boiler City
AH! Don't you know how to knock?!
—When replaying Boiler City
When you quit the game to play something else, we start talking about you behind your back.
—Before The Big Bath
I'm working up a sweat being this gorgeous!
—Before The Big Bath
He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me!
—Before Concrete Jungle
Pulling the Devil by the tail does not lead you far...
—Before Concrete Jungle
Any woman in Boiler City would be proud to be Mrs. Satan!
—Before Pinball Mire
Oh hello! Arre those rrreal?
—Before Pinball Mire
Caution: Floor may be slipperrry when wet.
—Before Mad Mall
Your trrrack record in rrredness is pathetic!
—Before Mad Mall
That Brulo has some skeletons in his closet for sure!
—Before Mad Mall
Crimson contention is the Devil's harvest!
—Before Crimson Factory
Do you suppose that Antoine thinks about me?
—Before Crimson Factory
I heard they were making Anton Twinsanity.
—Before Crimson Factory
Idle hands are the Devil's workshop.
—Before the Mysterious Glasshouse
Frogs croaking in the lagoon means rain will come soon.
—Before the Mysterious Glasshouse
I can't be your angel, but I can be your devil.
—Before the Mysterious Glasshouse
Oh, how I hate dealing with squatters!
—Before Devilled Gardens
The Devil leads him by the nose who the dice most often throws.
—Before Devilled Gardens
Danton and Nina Interactions
Danton: Oh, it's you. The little red menace. I'm Danton. Brulo's tasked me with fixing up the messes you leave behind.
—Danton's first interaction with the Dynamite Duo.
Danton: My wife's a great statistician.
—Interacting with Danton if he has not been injured in a level.
Danton: I'm watching you! Stay out of my wife's business!
—Interacting with Danton again after interacting with Nina if Danton has not been injured in a level.
Danton: Go away!
—After knocking Danton off a building in Boiler City, and subsequent interactions with him after the first if he's injured in other levels.
Danton: You roasted me alive!
—First interaction with Danton after knocking him into fire in Slowroast Sewer and into lava in Bomb Candy Mines.
Danton: I just got boiled! Stop talking to me!
—First interaction with Danton after blowing him up in Cinnamon Springs.
Danton: You flattened me with a tree!
—First interaction with Danton after squashing him with a tree in Concrete Jungle.
Danton: You ran me over with a gacha ball?!
—First interaction with Danton after rolling a pinball over him in Pinball Mire.
Danton: I'm telling my wife on you!
—First interaction with Danton after destroying his kiddie ride in the Mad Mall.
Danton: Do you know how tall that ladder was?! That big-ass robot stepped on me!
—First interaction with Danton after knocking him off a ladder in Crimson Factory. The second sentence is only spoken if Mecha Satan was activated.
Danton: Why won't you leave me alone?!
—First interaction with Danton after knocking him off a rail in the Mysterious Glasshouse.
Nina: Oh, it's you again, buffoon. I must insist you keep your interaction with me to a minimum. I have so, so many numbers to crunch... Accidents, insurance claims, injuries and casualties, alimony debts! A kind of numbers that make a girl's morbid curiosity boil over just so... ... and stay away from my husband! He's busy, and fragile.
—Nina's first interaction with the Dynamite Duo.
Nina: Again with the assaults on my poor, pathetic Danton? Need I remind you that I am an exceptionally litigious attorney?
—First interaction with Nina after maiming Danton again.
Nina: I must ask again that you refrain from seriously injuring my increasingly doddering husband. The math of it all is fascinating, but I can't stand to see him in such dire straits.
—First interaction with Nina after maiming Danton again.
Nina: Here are the numbers. Read 'em and weep.
—Subsequent interaction with Nina.
Final Boss & Ending
Satan: Oh joy! There's my little rrred deliverry boy! To think I didn't even need to rrrely on those bumbling moles! I'll take those, thank you. (Satan prepares for battle, stealing all of Anton's spirits and absorbing them)
Satan: Now, there is just one last problem to deal with.
—Satan before the final fight
Satan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! My mirrooor... I've gotta get out of here!
—Satan after being saved by his Magic Mirror before running away from Anton
Satan: ENOUGH!!!
—Satan after being cornered by Anton and turning into a massive beast, forcing Anton to run away
Satan: YES!! I FINALLY HAVE ALL OF THE RED, AND ALL OF THE POWER.
Satan: Now that I'm the rrreddest thing on the planet, it's time to start thinking about a mate.
—Satan after drinking all of Anton's redness and flicking him out
Satan: WHAAAT‽ It cannot be! I've got no time for this! Jewel Ghoul! Frrreako-Dragon! Rring-a-Ding! Take care of this trifle at once!
(The three of them are effortlessly beaten by Anton. Soon after, the Bossbusters crash their blimp in the arena, causing the whole castle to fall apart.)
Satan: You fools! You've rrruined everything!
(Anton proceeds to destroy the blimp, before finding himself in the ruins of the castle.)
Satan: I guess it's trrrue... If you want done something rright, you have to do it yourself!
—Satan after Anton comes back for round two
Satan: (metal pipe sounds) NOOOOO!!! It's not fairrrr! I could have had it all...my castle...GONE! My mirrrrorr...GONE! My rrrredness...GONE!!! (temper tantrum complete with Inelegant Blubbering) Maybe this is a sign I should... do something else. Something... more... prrroductive. (Death Glare) Well... if I can't be the rrreddest thing on the planet... THEN NO ONE CAN!!! With the powerrr of my Satan Switch... I'll blow my kingdom... and ALL who rrrreside within it... TO SMITHERRREENS!!!!! How's THAT forrr a blast‽ (activates Satan Switch) Until next time, Dynamite Anton.
Anton: Goddamn son of a bitch! (Hell explodes, sending Anton and Annie back to Boiler City)
Brulo: Anton, ya crazy bastard, you did it!
Anton: Uh... what? Oh. Yeah. Well. Bye! (Anton and Annie rushes back to their apartment before the explosion reaches Boiler City, which causes everything to be blown up into smithereens)
Danton: YES!!! I FINALLY FIXED EVERYTHING!!! (explosion expands to the whole world, destroying everything Danton fixed)
Anton: (arrives to his apartment with Annie before the explosion reaches him and shares a spirit drink with her) Wow, this is great! Everything's back to normal! Ain't ya glad Annie?
Annie: Yeah!
—Satan, Anton, Annie, Brulo and Danton in the ending