"Hey, any excuse works!"
"I'm busy right now, working on this...excuse."
— Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
A paper-thin excuse is made by a character to quickly leave or otherwise get out of doing something. Whether other characters accept the excuse depends on the tone of the story and the kind of characters involved.
Usually the mundane "Well, I'm off to work," "I think I'll call it a night," "Gotta use the head", "Going to the Store" type of comment, rarely related to the plot, though these only qualify if they're somehow implausible (for instance, saying you have to go to work when you have Sundays off and it's Sunday). When turning down a date, women often say, "I have to wash my hair," which is both mundane and implausible (such an act does not take an entire evening). The excuse to not be involved in something might involve a fake medical condition (if the obvious excuse is a bad leg, it's a lame excuse both figuratively and literally). The British or The Roaring '20s equivalent would be "I have to see a man about a horse (or dog)."note
Particularly desperate and/or dimwitted characters might come up with something absolutely nonsensical, or might just abandon the whole "reason" part of the reason ("I have to go over there, for... some reason." or "I have to go be somewhere else"). Alternatively, a clever Deadpan Snarker may offer a blatantly nonsensical excuse as a form of deliberate snub. When a character wants the remaining characters to know what they are up to, they'll often go with a blatantly transparent "I have a thing with a guy" excuse. The desire to Iron the Dog usually comes on very quickly. Sometimes the dog ironer may appear on the verge of a panic attack.
Sometimes, said character needs to convince additional characters to follow them out, suggesting they Talk About That Thing. If it's a group of women in a restaurant, they'll all go to the restroom at the same time to 'powder their nose' (often lampshaded by the men who ponder why women all go to the bathroom together).
Goes hand in hand with Screw This, I'm Outta Here, of course. Privacy by Distraction is the inverse of this, where the character says something intended to make the hearer leave the room so they talk about something private to another party. When a character is forced to leave the room due to an event or plot point, it's Deus ex 'Scuse Me. Can be used to Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone. Compare Not Even Bothering with an Excuse, which subversions of this trope often lead into, and A Dog Ate My Homework, another poor excuse... for not doing homework. Stepping Out for a Quick Cup of Coffee applies if the character's real reason for leaving is to let the others do something he's not supposed to participate in or know about. Some instances of this trope can result from Thinks of Something Smart, Says Something Stupid.
Sub-Trope of Looking Busy and Subtlety Failure. Compare with I Have This Friend, a similarly flimsy hypothetical rather thin excuse. Contrast with Suspiciously Specific Denial. A string of these becomes a Hurricane of Excuses. Also see Wild Card Excuse. Not to be confused with My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels, Microwave the Dog, or Kick the Dog.
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Advertising
- There was a series of radio ads ca. 1970 for spray shampoo done as phone calls where a girl is trying to brush off a geeky suitor (voiced by geeky actor Arnold Stang) claiming she needs to wash her hair. He counters by telling her all about the product, to no avail for him.
- There was a 1980s anti-smoking advert on British TV where a group of girls are discussing how to chat up boys by blowing smoke suggestively. One tries it on a skinhead who coughs before answering "I have to wash my hair."
- There was a UK ad for quick-cook pasta where a woman hears her annoying upstairs neighbour leaving his apartment. She rushes to put the pasta on and it's ready within a couple of minutes, so by the time he comes to the door and asks her on a date, she apologises and explains that she's just sat down to dinner.
- A Swedish chocolate drink is sold under the trade name "Pucko". In the years since this was introduced, the expression "pucko" has acquired the meaning "stupid" in slang. This would seem unfortunate for advertising, but they actually managed to work with it. Their most memorable commercial had a young dressed-up lad asserting that he didn't blame the girl for breaking off the date, since "if you've promised your parents to stay home and help systematizing the [diapositive] slides, you have to keep that promise" while buying a Pucko for himself.
Asian Animation
- In episode 11 of BoBoiBoy, Yaya' friends make excuses to avoid helping her bake her cookies, which are known to taste awful. Gopal goes home saying that he needs to feed his cat, Ying runs off mentioning she needs to clean her chimney, and BoBoiBoy attempts to hide under a box, but is discovered and makes the excuse that he was just looking for some shade.
- In Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf: Joys of Seasons episode 7, when Paddi tries to eat the device the goats want to use to get the egg bomb out of him, Weslie leaves with the excuse that he has to go do some homework. Tibbie follows suit with the excuse that she and Jodie have flowers to water.
- In one episode of Rimba Racer, Miles excuses himself from a conversation between Tag and Tamira by saying he has a different awkward situation to attend.
Comedy
- Dane Cook went pretty well with this in "Cheating".
Dane's Wife/Girlfriend: How did you get lost?
Dane: Uhh..they changed the roads! - Suzy Eddie Izzard:
- "I...am just going...to go...to the Bahamas...I left my...cat in the...refrigerator there..."
- "I've gotta go now 'cause my grandmother's on fire, and..."
- Even funnier when repeated later in the same show, as part of a whole iteration of his routine in French: "Je dois partir maintenant, parce-que ma grand-mère est flambée..."
- "My cat's exploded."
- "I was dead at the time! I was on the moon! With Steve!"
- Garry Shandling, in his HBO special Stand Up:
"I was on the airplane, talking to my mother on one of those air phones, and you know that thing where you just want to get off the phone? I said to her, 'Mom, I've got to get off the phone. Someone's at the door.' And I swear to God, she knew I was on the airplane, but she said, 'Oh, all right. I'll let you go, then.'"
Comic Books
- In issue 3 of Atomic Robo and the Vengeful Dead, Robo is stuck in a meeting with Sir Richard Branson regarding the CC&Rs Tesladyne has apparently been violating. To escape it so he can deal with the more pressing crisis he was just informed of, Robo asks where the nearest bathroom is. Branson tells him without thinking, and by the time he remembers robots don't need to use the bathroom, Robo's already gone.
- Kroton in the Doctor Who Magazine comic strip once escaped an uncomfortable situation by claiming he wanted to go get some fresh air. Being a Cyberman (although a friendly and easygoing one), he left muttering to himself, "Brilliant excuse, Kroton… since when did you start breathing?"
- Iron Man (1968): After Tony is paralyzed by a crazed stalker, a lot of women he used to know start coming up with excuses when he asks them out. Subverted with one of them, who says she's got an appointment that night doing a celebrity's hair (because she's a hairstylist in LA). Tony thinks he's being given the brush-off again, but it's the truth. Fortunately, she changes her mind, catches up to him and suggest they go to the beach instead.
- In Marvel Adventures Avengers, the Avengers don't really want to talk to a prison warden, although he's actually pretty reasonable and friendly.
"Not that we wouldn't enjoy some prison food, but we have to — we have to go oil Iron Man before he rusts!"
- In a 1933 Mickey Mouse story, after Dippy Dawg "borrows" some furniture for their detective office, Mickey gets a call from Second-Hand Dan about his items being robbed. As soon as he knows that Dan is on his way over, Dippy announces that it's his lunchtime and leaves.
- In Scott Pilgrim, Scott uses the not-even-trying version of this: "We have to go, uhh...thing the... thingy."
- In issue 2 of Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comics), Sonic tells Tails to head home. When Tails asks why, Sonic answers with a checklist including "To let Princess Sally know about them", "Because I Said So", and "To allow the artist more room to draw."
- Sunny Series: Sunny Rolls the Dice has Sunny's Childhood Friend Deb call out of their D&D session with Sunny's new group by saying she's going to go do a thing with her mom. Sunny later sees her coming home from Valentine's Day shopping with her new friend Regina. Deb drops out of playing soon after, saying they're too old to play games "like that" and it's the start of the end of their friendship.
- Supergirl: In The Strange Revenge of Lena Luthor, Linda Danvers and Lena Thorul are watching a concert when things abruptly begin blowing up, and Linda suddenly needs to go elsewhere because she... is not feeling well. Lena, who has already guessed Linda is Supergirl's secret identity, just plays along with it.
Linda Danvers: Excuse me, Lena— Suddenly I don't feel so well...
Lena Colby: Sure, Linda (thinking) But I bet you will... after you find a place to switch to Supergirl! - Superman: Clark Kent does this a lot when looking for excuses to disappear and change into Superman. Fortunately, his disappearances often lead to him hitting a news story jackpot on whatever weird shit is going down in Metropolis, and just make him seem like a Bunny-Ears Lawyer.
Comic Strips
- Adam@home: in the January 22, 2012 strip, Laura escapes a Motor Mouth by saying her llama is double-parked.
- Dilbert:
- In Dogbert's Clues for the Clueless, the advice given to women who wish to turn down requests for dates is to give excuses whose implausibility and specificity should be relative to the guy's normalcy — that is to say, "nearly normal" guys should be given vague yet plausible lines such as "I have 'plans,'" whereas "loser-type" guys should be dismissed with specific yet implausible excuses such as "I need to wax my cat."
- Dilbert himself was given the infamous excuse of "I need to wash my hair" when he asked a random woman on a date. When she suggests meeting him on some other day, his reply was, "I'll pass. I was hoping for someone with clean hair."
- "I'd love to, but...uh...I'm clinically dead. What you're seeing is merely the last few movements before I stiffen."
- Jon Arbuckle of Garfield was always hit with these when he asked certain women onto dates. At least, until Liz finally accepted him.
Jon: She has to stay home and floss her otter.
Garfield: Trusting soul, or blooming idiot? You make the call. - In an early Pogo strip, Simple J. Malarkey in preparation for eating Pogo tries to tie him to a chair on the excuse that it's "earthquake weather", but Pogo hurries off claiming that he "left the children on the stove."
- Well, possum babies are rather small...But why would you let them play on there in the first place?
- Discussed in one strip of Redeye. Loco complains to a frog about how others use ridiculous excuses to avoid talking with him. The trope is played straight by the frog, who says that he "has an appointment with his hairdresser".
- In the "how they met" introduction to What's New? with Phil and Dixie:
Dixie: Oh my — just look at the time! Gotta go — I've got kids on the stove!
- Phil apparently likes this one since it also turns up in his comic book adaptation of Another Fine Myth.
Films — Animation
- In Bolt, Rhino the hamster gives excuses on leaving whenever Mittens and Bolt have serious discussions. The first time actually works as a pretty good gag when he does come back with a ladder!
- Coco: Early in the film, when Miguel wants to escape his family to gain Ernesto de la Cruz's blessing to return to the land of the living, he tells everyone he's going to go find a restroom to use, and then bolts. His excuse winds up not being very useful, as there are no bathrooms in the land of the dead.
- How to Train Your Dragon: Early on in the film Stoick proposes to do one more search for the nest before winter. Everyone tries to come with excuses why they can go on such an expedition. If you listen carefully one of them says they need to do their axe returns.
- In The LEGO Movie, Superman avoids Green Lantern by claiming that he "has to visit Krypton" before flying off, leaving Green Lantern to point out that Krypton was destroyed.
- In The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, when Piglet hears that the next story will be about bouncing, he hastily excuses himself with the following:
Piglet: I think that I just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and shan't be able to do tomorrow so I suppose I better go back and do it now!
- Monsters, Inc. 1: The Abominable Snowman, wanting to avoid the conflict between Mike and Sulley, states "Oh, look, we're out of snowcones. Let me go out and make some more." Subverted in that he really was going to make more snow cones, possibly to cheer the monsters up.
- In The Swan Princess, Odette tries to use the excuse not on the prince himself, but on her father to delay leaving for the prince's kingdom.
Odette: I haven't packed or washed my hair, and Father, I get seasick!
Music
- Lily Allen's "Knock 'Em Out" includes "I've gotta go 'cos my house is on fire" as an excuse to give to an Abhorrent Admirer. Also:
And no, you can't have my number,
"Why?"
Because I've lost my phone. - Terri Clark's "Better Things to Do"
is this mixed with a healthy dose of Take That!
I could wash my car in the rain
Change my new guitar strings
Mow my yard just the same
As I did yesterday
I don't need to waste my time
Crying over you
I got better things to do - Rawlins Cross' "It'll have to wait" also a line like:
The bad guys are escapin' on the eastbound freight
There's a fire breathin' dragon burning down the castle gate
Your little broken heart'll just have to wait - A different excuse in Kirsty MacColl's "In These Shoes";
He said, "Let's make love on a mountain-top,
Under the stars, on a big hard rock"
I said "In these shoes? I don't think so"- ...Also a direct subversion, since the next line is "Let's do it here".
- Ninja Sex Party:
- "No Reason Boner" includes one of these.
"I have to go, I have a doctor's appointment at the dentist's."
Now things are a little awkward
Between my mailman and I
That was not my best lie, I was just covering up for my
No reason boner- Played for laughs in "Orgy for One". The excuses the girls give for not showing up to Danny's orgy range from the believable ("I have a headache") to the outrageous ("my dad exploded").
- Relient K's song "Mood Rings" - "She likes you Wednesday, but now it's Friday and she has to wash her hair."
- Rupert Holmes' song "Answering Machine" contains an instance of this played straight.
"Now I stepped out to buy some dog food for the cat."
Mythology & Religion
- The Bible features the Parable of the Great Banquet, where the guests all start to offer lame excuses for not attending. These include needing to see a field he just bought (who buys a field without seeing it?), try out oxen he just bought (who buys oxen without trying them?), or having just gotten married (which may be variously interpreted as "my wife won't let me go" or "I'm too busy having sex.")
Podcasts
- Within the Wires: In Season 6, Cliodhna mentions that Siobhan wouldn't go camping with her because she was afraid of snakes. Ireland famously has no snakes. Cliodhna eventually realizes that it was just that Siobhan didn't want to go camping with her at all.
Professional Wrestling
- This exchange between Sami Zayn and Tyler Breeze of WWE NXT:
Sami Zayn: If you wanna get pinned by me, we don't have to wait; we can do it tonight.
Tyler Breeze: Oooh, you're on. But not tonight. I'm busy.
Sami Zayn: Oh, you're "busy"?
Tyler Breeze: Yeah, busy.
Sami Zayn: What're you "busy" with?
Tyler Breeze: Uh, I have to get new phone cases —
Sami Zayn: That's always important.
Tyler Breeze: I'm going to a ball, I've got a photoshoot...
Sami Zayn: A ball?
Tyler Breeze: Yeah, a ball! A ball, Sami! - An interesting shoot example happened in 1993 thanks to Terry Funk, who walked out on being one of Shawn Michaels' "Knights", only leaving the note "My horse is sick. I think she's going to die. I think I better go."note
Puppet Shows
- Donkey Hodie: In the episode "The Lavender Lights", Duck Duck does this when she's about to board Purple Panda's spaceship:
Purple Panda: Yeah, we gotta ride my spaceship into space. It's the only way to see the Lavender Lights.
Duck Duck: Yes, yes, of course. But..uh...here's the thing. I gotta go home now.
Donkey Hodie: Wait, now? What?
Duck Duck: Yes, yes, now...uh, you see, something very important came up...my books! My books need a nap and I gotta tuck them in. They like a lullaby. - During one episode of Greg the Bunny:
Alison: I'm going to...drink.
- In the French political satire Les Guignols de l'Info, president Jacques Chirac used to give really silly excuses to run ("My hips need a liposuction" — yes, that silly) when he needed to put on his Super Liar (Superman's parody) suit before answering embarrassing questions. Other characters were too Genre Blind to guess Super Liar's secret identity.
- The Muppets:
- The Muppet Show:
- At one point, Gonzo tries to get out of looking after Miss Piggy's dog by claiming "Oh my god! I left an anvil in the oven!". Of course, this being Gonzo, it's entirely possible he actually did leave an anvil in the oven.
- During a skit with Nancy Walker, Fozzie and Nancy have to make excuses to disappear, with Fozzie (as a waiter) going for "I gotta go wax the oven".
- In The Great Muppet Caper, several Muppets walk out on Kermit when he says their plan to save Piggy might have one of them killed, with Pops saying he has a dentist appointment.
- The Muppet Show:
- The Mr. Potato Head Show: Due to a misunderstanding, Queenie Sweet Potato felt very awkward around Mr. Potato Head, and made up random and nonsensical excuses to get away from him, including:
Queenie Sweet Potato: I have to go shampoo the doorbell!
Queenie Sweet Potato: I have to go feed the toaster!
Queenie Sweet Potato: I have to go iron my toenails! - Sesame Street: At one point, Luis had a "secret" identity as Señor Zero, and whenever someone said the word "zero" he would rush off to change with an excuse like "I have to go answer my television" or "I think I left the cat on."
Radio
- In the radio adaptation of Good Omens, when Adam starts hearing the voices of the Four Horsemen in his head, Wensleydale excuses himself with "Is that the time? I have to go, Doctor Who is on!"
- The Goon Show: In "The Spectre of Tintagel" we have
Bluebottle: I have to go, my capitan! I left the cat running in the sink!
- Our Miss Brooks: In "Heat Wave", Miss Brooks, Mr. Boynton, Walter Denton, Harriet Conklin and Stretch Snodgrass all get excused from school and find themselves at a farmer's swimming pond through a variety of lame excuses. Miss Brooks, in fact, runs off telling Mr. Conklin that she has to go to the pond to get water to put out the fire she accidentally started in his office.
Roleplay
- In Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues, multiple kids have to leave during the final exams in order to investigate superpower-related issues around the school. Some of them are able to act natural- Ciro trying to use a bathroom excuse, Ivy just casually walking out like she's allowed to- but then there's the ones like Hyeon, who says he needs to get gum from his car, or Mirielle, who casually mentions that her house is on fire and then skips out.
Theatre
- In Charly: A Love Song, the two leads are set up on an unwanted date by their parents. After leaving the planned (and boring) date at the country club, Charly (the girl) reveals that underneath the Ojou exterior is a Genki Girl who only needs a Ferris wheel ride to bring her out. When she tries to drag Straight Man Sam (the guy) along, he replies:
"I thought you had to wash your tennis shoes?"
- In Euripides's satyr play The Cyclops, Odysseus sees the leader of the satyrs captured by the titular cyclops and decides to stab it in the eye with a flaming brand. He asks the satyrs for help.
First Semi-Chorus: Standing where I am before the door, I am too far off to thrust the fire into his eye.
Second Semi-Chorus: I have just gone lame.
First Semi-Chorus: Why, then, thou art in the same plight as I; for somehow or other I sprained my ankle, standing still.
Odysseus: Sprained thy ankle, standing still?
First Semi-Chorus: Yes, and my eyes are full of dust or ashes from somewhere or other. - In The Golden Apple, Lovey Mars, immediately after introducing Paris to Helen, produces the following excuse in order to Leave the Two Lovebirds Alone. They pay no particular attention as she says with mock surprise:
Heavens it's so hot
I absolutely forgot
The Epworth League is due
To meet at half-past two
And I'm presiding
Oh dear! Oh dear!
I'll just have time to walk over
I'll leave Mister Paris here
You young folks must have lots to talk over. - At least one translation of Lysistrata has a woman claiming to be going into labor as her excuse to leave, using a bronze helmet under her clothes as her "baby". Lysistrata proceeds to point out that she wasn't pregnant the day before.
- In Mamma Mia!, when Donna suddenly sees all three of her ex-boyfriends who could also be the father of her daughter she stammers something about cleaning out her handbag and hides. The exes aren't surprised. ("Typical Donna!")
- Much Ado About Nothing:
- Benedick, seeing Beatrice approaching, try to get an excuse from Don Pedro.
Benedick: Will your grace command me any service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on.
(when that doesn't work, however, he just leaves anyway) - Beatrice gets a successful out later in the same scene, when her conversation with Don Pedro gets awkward.
Leonato: Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?
Beatrice: I cry you mercy, uncle. By your grace's pardon. (books it)
- Benedick, seeing Beatrice approaching, try to get an excuse from Don Pedro.
- In The Music Man, Harold Hill shows up to talk to Marian Paroo, and her mother, hoping the two will get together, immediately bows out:
Mrs. Paroo: You and Marian come up and set. I — I've got some jelly on the stove.
Marian: There's no jelly on the stove, Mama.
Mrs. Paroo: Well, I'll put some on. - In Next to Normal, Natalie makes claims that her boyfriend Henry has "Homework", "Surgery" and "Rabies" in an attempt to prevent her father inviting him to dinner and revealing how dysfunctional the family is.
Video Games
- Adventures with Anxiety: If Hong immediately tries running away at the end of Chapter 2, Hunter asks them what they're doing. They hastily reply that they need to run the marathon before running off to beat up Beebee, with Hong believing they've found a way to defeat their anxiety for good.
- In Age of Empires II, computer players are infamous for resigning games early with excuses that make basic game facts sound like dire obstacles, like “Forsooth, I couldst not tame any wolves” or “A mere single scout was present to serve in the beginning.”
- Not an excuse to immediately leave, but Animal Crossing: New Leaf lets you respond to an invitation for some future event (whose date hasn't even been specified) with "I'm feeling sick that day."
- In Barbarous: Tavern of Emyr Lyselle sends O'rho out for some bomb components so she can talk to Emyr about his missing daughter, who happens to be her niece.
Emyr: I think I left my sword in the furnace.
- Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time gives us this gem when Dr. N. Brio runs into the past and future versions of Dr. Cortex:
N. Brio: Uh, uh... DING DONG, DING DONG! Oh my, sounds like the doorbell! I'd better go see who it is!
- In an old DOS game titled Crime City, your character is able to vandalize the local church unless he runs into the local priest, in which he case makes a clever retreat: "I have to go paint my dog!"
- Deltarune
- Susie and Kris are about to return to the Dark World on the second day when Noelle shows up and invites them to join her and Berdly at the library where they're working on their group project. Susie prompts Kris to give an excuse, and your choices are "Hanging out alone in the closet" and "Crime". Whichever one you pick, she tries to run with it and makes it even more absurd:
("Hanging out alone in the closet") You know, just... chillin' out alone in the closet. Just two friends, chillin' out in the closet, like normal. Touchin'... brooms and stuff.("Crime") Y'know, just... committin'... crimes. Just gonna do some crimes and go to... jail. Forever. It sucks.
- In the endgame of Chapter 2, Rouxls Kaard claims to the King that he and Queen are together. When Queen (who is in the same room) expresses confusion at this, he hurries off, saying "I think I left my puzzle on".
- Susie and Kris are about to return to the Dark World on the second day when Noelle shows up and invites them to join her and Berdly at the library where they're working on their group project. Susie prompts Kris to give an excuse, and your choices are "Hanging out alone in the closet" and "Crime". Whichever one you pick, she tries to run with it and makes it even more absurd:
- In Google's Doodle Champion Island Games, a cat shirking exercise at a ramen place sends you to find his sneakers and water bottle when you try to convince him to continue his workout. After getting each of these, he then says he lost his lucky bandana out at sea, which he says a fish ate and then exploded. You happen to have another one to spare, and he realizes then that he's only been avoiding his responsibilities.
- Asking the Bowerstone hairdresser to follow you in Fable I will result in her telling you she has to wash her hair if she doesn't like you enough.
- In Fantasy Life, when you confront King Erik and his court about the letter you received (on cute apple-patterned stationary), he immediately tells you that he has an important meeting about eggs, while his top scholar Hughes then begins "analyzing" that the throne room is rather hot.
- In Farmington Tales having to wash her hair is Kaylee's excuse when Floyd mentions that Manny's been thinking of asking her out. When Floyd comments that he hasn't even told her what day Manny mentioned, she replies that whatever the day, there'll be a lot of hair-washing and ironing going on.
- Fire Emblem Fates contains an especially paper-thin example in Charlotte's supports with Kaze. Their B Support features her pulling her usual seduction act, and, upon being turned down, Charlotte produces the line "I have to go. I left an excuse in the oven!"
- Futurama: At the end of the Sun level, the Sun Priest invites the crew to come celebrate having gotten rid of the evil god ruling them at a party at the sun temple. Which, in the process of getting rid of said evil god, Leela has set on fire, a fact the Sun Priest is oblivious to. Making it funnier, they do have a legit reason to not be there (trying to stop Mom taking over the universe), but can't even manage that.
- Hades: Thanatos's first reaction to Zagreus' abrupt Love Confession is to suddenly declare that he just remembered he has a bunch of mortals to fetch and immediately poof out of sight, too flustered to say whether he reciprocates enough.
- In Harvest Moon DS Cute, one Heart Event for Carter has him desperate to get away from Flora's cooking. He swears up, down, and sideways that he, uh...promised to eat lunch with the player character! Didn't he? If you play along with his ruse, you gain Love Points with him.
- In Homescapes when Rachel expresses skepticism about Austin's denial that Katherine is his girlfriend, Katherine states that she has to unplug her door, while Austin remarks that he has to feed his father.
- Kingdom of Loathing:
- Quoth you, in an adventure: "I wish I could, but my grandmother's on fire, so I'll just be going."
- When adventuring in the Haunted Bathroom during a Bad Moon run, you might encounter a ghost just as you're about to use the toilet, leading your character to claim "I just remembered my grandmother's on fire and my cat has leprosy."
- Quoth you if you choose not to fight the Crimbo 2013 boss right then, "I just remembered I left a squirrel baking cupcakes at my house, and he really needs supervision."
- Quoth you, in an adventure
- Kingdom Hearts III: A piece of random NPC dialogue in Twilight Town is one kid telling another, "Sorry, my mom said I have to mow the... dog?"
- Kitty Powers' Matchmaker:
- If you get three strikesnote on a date, the candidate will make a cheap excuse to leave such as needing to "take [their] hamster for a walk" and dump your client.
- In Kitty Powers' Love Life, a location manager will sometimes ask your client to do an errand for them for 30 coins by making a cheap excuse such as "needing to see a man about a dog".
- These compilation videos of reasons people have been AFK in League of Legends.
Brb, cat got launch codes again.
Brb, pool's on fire.
Brb, tax collector is escaping from the basement.
Gtg, computer store's closing.
Brb, got to pee. Will be 30-40 minutes.
Brb, batsignal.
Brb, gotta take my fish for a walk.
Brb, woodpecker is attacking my house.
Brb, I have to comb my lobster.
Damn it, my power went out. I'll let you guys know when it comes back! - In The Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel IV, Rean can encounter Tatiana joining Muse and Maya for her first tea ceremony, which Musse suggests Tatiana pair with conversation about "the fascinating books you've been reading. Those beautiful stories about passionate men." When she asks if Rean would care to join them, he replies that it sounds fun, but he has to go polish his tachi.
- Mass Effect: Andromeda: The entire team bursts out with various transparent excuses when Peebee asks for help cleaning up her room.
Drack: Think I left the stove on.
Liam: Making ice.
Cora: Those reports won't file themselves.
Jaal: It's an angaran holiday.
Vetra: Helping Liam make ice. - In Merge Friends when Dirk thinks that Jane and Julia's "date" later that evening is romantic instead of friendly, he states that he has to go sort his drill bits.
- No One Lives Forever. Some of the mooks do this, such as one mook reacting to an extremely envious mook's jealousy with, "Uh...I have to stand over here now."
- No Straight Roads: To get away from DK West, Eve pretends she's going to "check if the editors need [her] input'', which completely goes against her character as a pop-culture abstract artist. He still doesn't get the hint.
- In Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, Geeta asks Penny to come help her with the technical issues she got assigned to work on at the end of the Starfall Street segment of the game. Penny tries to get out of this by saying she has a bunch of anime to go binge. Geeta immediately sees through this and drags her along anyway.
- In Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal:
Skid McMarx: Hey uhh...dudes...I uhh..forgot to feed my goldfish.
- The Teensies in Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc are full of these excuses. For example, "I have to go invent chocolate toothpaste." or "I have to walk my flowers and water my dog." Though whether these are excuses or the Teensies just being utterly insane has yet to be decided. Rayman actually lampshades this in the GBA game Rayman: Hoodlum's Revenge, noting how they say the strangest things, only to be told that they're simply reading out their parts of the script.
- The Simpsons Hit & Run:
- In an early mission, Ned Flanders tells Homer that he's been robbed and he's ready to call the police to look for whoever stole his belongings. This reminds Homer that he "borrowed" them a while ago, and attempts to sneak off to his car to find them by sheepishly telling him, "I have to go...shuck some corn."
- While it's not really an excuse to leave, one of the quotes Homer says when requesting a new vehicle is, "I need your help, my car is...sleeping."
- The Sims:
- If you try to invite a Sim over to your house and they reject (usually because their Relationship Values are too low), they'll use rather incredible excuses like "I have to feed my llama" or "My psychic advisor has forbidden me to leave the house today." Strangely, if they're already there and have to leave, their excuses actually make sense, like "It's getting late."
- The French version includes "I need to water my turtle" and "watch my houseplants grow." Also when they refuse to keep talking to you because one of their "needs" gauge is full, they will usually say "I'm just too tired/hungry/etc. for this," except it they need to go to the toilet. They'll say "I need to go put on some make-up" instead...
- The best, of course, is "I'm waiting for the telephone repairman." Uhh...
- In the sequel, if they particularly don't like your Sim, they don't even bother with a lunatic excuse. They say something like "If my wanting to come over was on a scale of one to ten I'd still say 'No'."
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom:
- At the start of the boss fight against Mecha Sandy, SpongeBob attempts to get out of it by saying he needs to go home and feed Gary.
- If you interact with Patrick in his dream after already getting his golden spatula, he attempts to impose his challenge onto SpongeBob, only to be told that the challenge is already completes. As such, he prepares to hand over the reward, only to be told he already gave it to SpongeBob. Then Patrick attempts to impose the challenge again, prompting SpongeBob to tell him that Gary needs another bath.
- In Star Wars: The Old Republic, the Imperial Agent's companion Doctor Lokin excuses himself because of the cold weather in order to escape an uncomfortable conversation. Reasonable enough, right? Except he was going outside...on Hoth.
- Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town: This trope is involved in an event that the Player Character can witness. Cindy wants to get out of spending time with Mikey, the only other child in the town besides her. So she decides to pretend she has plans to go shopping with someone else that day and enlists Jacopo, the mayor's slacker son, into pretending to be the person with whom she is supposed to go shopping. However, Mikey turns out to have decided he wanted to go shopping also, so Cindy gets out of that by pretending to have changed her mind about shopping and to want to do the activity she and Mikey were initially supposed to do together instead.
- In the Super Robot Wars franchise, many people (both the Original Generation characters and the licensed featured characters) do everything in their power to avoid the infamous health drink of Kusuha Mizuha (up to and including her own lover/boyfriend Bullet). Excuses range from the mundane ("I'm going to perform maintenance on my giant robot") to the weird (Giado Beneldi's excuse was to take his lover Garnet stargazing. During the middle of the day). Kusuha, for some reason or another, thinks nothing of the excuses, even if some come across as flat-out rude or insulting.
- In Super Paper Mario some of Count Bleck's henchmen leave the castle against his orders to attack the heroes. Mr. L's excuse is that 'I need to go deflavourise the Brobot's, uh...Flavouriser.'
- In Tomodachi Life, some of the "I can't think of a rhyme" lines in Rap Battles sound like this. For example, "I'm late for a dentist appointment!"
- Undertale: "I have to go to the bathroom" is apparently the standard lame excuse for monsters. Monster food is made out of magic, and is absorbed completely by the body- hence, there are no bathrooms in the entire Underground, nor reason to use any (which is established by a side conversation in Snowdin). And yet, you'll still hear 'I have to go to the bathroom' multiple times.
- Papyrus excuses himself from Undyne's house with this line. It might have been more believable if he hadn't followed it up by leaving the house entirely. Face first. Through a window. Made even better by Undyne remarking on how strange Papyrus' behavior was...since he usually sticks the landing. Which means this is not even close to the first time he's made this kind of exit. And even if the above information regarding monster food was disregarded, Papyrus is a skeleton.
- Alphys later uses the exact same excuse, but it's given a darker twist in the very late game, where you are able to enter the same room she hides in. It's actually the elevator to the True Lab.
- World of Warcraft:
- Many people will use excuses like these to get out of a raid or dungeon crawl they see as a waste of time (e.g. obviously unskilled/underleveled/both players have joined, they want to wait for another queue, there aren't enough healers...). The most common is "BRB TORNADO" (which IS somewhat believable on US servers during the spring/early summer/early fall, but which is almost always this), that actually became a meme to the point of an entire guild being named "BRB TORNADO." Others are "brb fire," "brb burglars," "brb gf going into labor," and similar incredibly urgent emergency situations.
- In at least three cases, they were real, which often led to people feeling bad about assuming they were this: one person actually did get his place wiped out by a tornado, logging on three days later from his laptop — all he had left from the storm. Another time "brb fire" was due to a fire in a neighboring apartment which the player had to go help put out, and another time "brb cops" involved the player's roommate being suddenly arrested by a SWAT team, to the surprise of the player.
- One thread on the World of Warcraft forums was titled "Lamest excuse you've ever given for leaving a raid early." One contributor described a party member who was silent for the entire dungeon until, half way through the instance, the formerly-silent party member suddenly announced "I have to wash my steve" and left.
- In-game, an NPC trying to hide their elemental companion excuses herself so she can go water her fish.
- A world quest in War Within is titled "Water The Sheep," possibly referencing the trope. Of course, the sheep in question are mosswool, which really do need to be treated more like mobile crops than livestock.
Visual Novels
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney:
- In the first case, if you answer "Mia Fey" (who's your boss) when the Judge asks the name of the defendant, Mia will go "Look, I have to leave. I have to go home. I'm... I'm expecting a delivery."
- During a tense moment on the third day of the fifth case, Gumshoe says "Uh, ya know what? I just remembered... I gotta be somewhere."
- Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club:
Mai: Well, I need to head in to class because I have a...test...I gotta talk to...
- In Dōkyūsei, the introduction event for the Player Character's Hot Teacher, Prof. Serizawa, sees her working at a desk, grading a series of tests. Examining the papers prompts the Player Character to ask how he did on the test, and she reminds him that he actually didn't hand in this particular test because he took that day off due to his uncle having died. She then dryly adds that it was the eighteenth of his uncles to die this year.
Player Character: What can I say? I come from a long line of uncles.
- In Ikemen Sengoku, Hideyoshi and Ieyasu's attempt to leave the main character and Mitsunari alone together in Mitsunari's route:
Hideyoshi: Ieyasu? What was that thing I forgot in your tent? You know.
Ieyasu: Your thing—? Right. Your really important thing.
MC: [thinking] Hideyoshi's really important thing? ...Nobunaga? - C14 Dating: In the bonus scene for his romance route, Kyler will claim to have hypoxia as an excuse to leave when Sherri comes to their square to talk with Melissa.
- In Katawa Shoujo, the first time you talk to Hanako, you end up startling her by accident, and she exclaims "Igottagodosomething!" before running off.
- In Volume 8 Route 1 of Pesterquest, Kanaya's excuse to avoid staying and playing Fiduspawn with Tavros is this;
Kanaya: Im Afraid I Have Duties To Attend To At Home
Kanaya: I
Kanaya: Left A Dress In The Oven
Kanaya: Its
Kanaya: Made Out Of Clay You See
Kanaya: Im Getting Experimental
Web Animation
- The Amazing Digital Circus: In "Candy Carrier Chaos!", after deleting Gummigoo, Caine say that he's gonna "go drink water" and disappears into thin air. Given that he (and the rest of the Circus denizens) seems to be a construct in a computer system and thus doesn't need to consume for nourishment, it's likely that he said this as an excuse to leave after causing such a very awkward moment.
Caine: Welp, I'm gonna go drink water! It's been a while since I've done that!
- Baman Piderman: Baman cuts to the chase:
Baman: uh, actually, we hab to go outside RIGHT NOW for some reason.
- In HFIL, after getting frustrated by Bojack's overexuberance, Cell gets up and declares he has to pee, leaving the table. Cooler, noticing Freeza has some sort of complex about Cell, needles him about Cold's apparent favoritism toward Cell, prompting Freeza to declare he has to pee too.
Mez: Ah, we only have ze one lavatory!
Goz: Ah, the bowl's big enough for two!
Bojack: [leans in knowingly] Ye speak like ye know... - In Grimlock's Problem, after Grimlock tells Spike about a war crime he and the Dinobots committed, Spike quickly tries to find a way out of the conversation and says "I just remembered I need to...fold the dishes..."
- Homestar Runner:
- When Strong Bad introduces Li'l Brudder, a one-legged dog whose catch-phrase is "Don't worry; I can make it on my own," Strong Bad initially says that said picture cracks him up. However, at the end, when Strong Bad is musing on the "tough little guy" he catches himself and tells the viewers "Umm, I think I've got a...food...in the oven... Igottago." and leaves the room. (Li'l Brudder's triumphs in the face of adversity often make everyone cry.)
- On a more meta level, having come to the conclusion that his imagination is broken, Strong Bad ends an email with "I'm gonna go...place". Clicking on that phrase shows a postcard from Place.
- In Issue Ten of Teen Girl Squad, Cheerleader claims the other girls can't go to The Ugly One's Sweet Someteenth birthday because "We have...the...Olympics...tonight." Though once The Ugly One tells them it's a "boy/girl party," Cheerleader tells her the coach just called and says the Olympics are dumb, so she can come to the party after all. It then cuts to an Olympic coach being glared at by an Olympic Man, who says "I don't know what they're talking about, I swear!"
- While answering an email, Strong Bad hypes up how great the local news in Strong Badia is:
Strong Bad: But I have to go now...and do something completely unrelated to me throwing together the aforementioned local news."
- This is how How It Should Have Ended feels Padme should have reacted to Anakin's speech about killing.
- In an episode of MGT School, Yoshiko claimed that "she had to go to class" after Zodiac announced a video contest between herself and Seira. She was obviously trying to bail out on the idea.
- In the Rainbow Dash ending of the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls Digital Series episode "Best Trends Forever", Rarity awkwardly escapes a conversation with Trixie by claiming "I'm late for... being over there."
- In the Murder Drones pilot, N, after he realizes that Uzi was not a fellow disassembly drone but a worker drone who was trying to kill him, and that she has just run off with a gun that can do that, says this to J and V:
- N: You know, I-I-I left an e-extremely dangerous weapo— uh, an excuse o-outside.
(J narrows her eyes and shakes her head, V pops a flag out of her arm that reads "LITERALLY SO INSANELY SUSPICIOUS")
- The OMORIBOY Chronicles: Omoriboy gets out of Omori's attempted "The Reason You Suck" Speech by claiming he has to go to the bathroom.
- There is a Resident Evil 1 parody in which Brad, upon hearing about the killer zombie dogs, says the following: "Well, I just remembered that I left the, uh, oven on in the, uh, helicopter, and...LOOK! BEHIND YOU! A THREE-HEADED MONKEY!" He then proceeds to dash off, followed shortly after by the sound of a helicopter taking off. Subverted, in that Brad is trying to distract Wesker so he can flee. Wesker doesn't look away. Brad flees anyway.
- In RWBY Chibi Episode 16, Sun tries to get out of Yang's open mic comedy act by saying "I just remembered! I'm supposed to be... uh... not here!" Ren forces him to stay.
- In season 2 he tries this again to get away from having to deal with both Yang AND her father cracking terrible jokes, but can't even come up with anything sputtering for a few seconds before decided to just jump out the window. Meanwhile Ren says he has to go iron clothes, ALL of them, while Neptune says he has to go swim, even though he's deathly afraid of water which he claims he suddenly conquered all his fears.
Web Original
- Mentioned in this Cracked article.
Well, odds are they'll either nervously tell you that they have cookies in the oven and run out on you, or if they're honest, they'll give you a pretty big shrug.
- Even dictionary.com gets into the act.
- RiffTrax "Skipper Learns a Lesson"
Narrator: Larry said: Come play with us. We're digging a trench.
Bill Corbett: Susan suddenly remembered that she needed to wash her hair. - The Spill uses the excuse of needing to wash his hair in order to avoid seeing "Gamer".
- In Tony Zaret's list of alternatives to ghosting someone, Tony suggests saying you need to go to the bathroom for 100 years.
- urbandictionary.com defines the term "walk my fish" as "telling someone that you are going to walk your fish is a nice way of saying you don't want to do something."
Web Videos
- American High Digital: All the customers in "When The Restaurant Is Too Expensive" just so happen to get an AMBER alert they're invested in the moment they see the prices on the menu.
- Anime America: In "Top 10 Lamest Powers in Anime", one of the entries is about the Chara Nari in Shugo Chara!. Megan and Shannan are so off-put by this one, before the explanation for the entry even begins, that they back out and drive away — but not before Megan tells Shannan that they need to go "get some supplies", while Shannan herself also gives the unconvincing excuse that she needs to get her "homework watered" on top of that.
- Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog gives us the classic line, "Oh, goodness, look at my wrist. I've gotta go!" from the titular Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain. Because he's not wearing a watch...
- In Enter the Dojo, Stephen tries to get out of date with Fiona by saying he needs to drain his fish tank or his catfish will cough up another hairball. She doesn't buy it for a second, though.
- Feather Adventures: At the end of the music video for "FunBot 200,000", Sqaishey's FunBot blows everyone up and Sqaishey and their friends respawn. Realizing that they all now have these destructive robots in their home worlds after Sqaishey gifted each of them one (or two for Stampy), Sqaishey tries to pull this on their friends. It doesn't work and the others end up chasing after Sqaishey in their anger into the sunset.
Sqaishey: Oh, look, is that the time? Um, I have to go and watch paint dry! Goodbye, guys! (runs for it)
- YouTube channel Forgotten Weapons has a video about an innovative revolver which can fire several different calibres of bullet. It was a commercial failure. The presenter says that it fell victim to a common syndrome: a cool new gun is announced, and people say "Neat! I'm getting one of those." Then when the time comes to pay real money, they say "My cat has tonsillitis and I have to pay the vet."
- The Gamers: "Look at that quaint and rustic architecture. I should go investigate." The speaker is a paladin GMPC, and the protagonists need to utilize the Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique.
- Played with in a now-deleted review for the children's book I Need a Wee, in which a talking octopus needs to pee but is trying to come up with an excuse so his friends at the dinner table wouldn't know (sort of like Go to the Euphemism except he wants to actually deceive them). He thinks of saying, "I need to powder my nose", but then realises that expression's already a toilet euphemism and besides he doesn't have a nose. He then thinks of saying, "I need to attend to my rocket", but then realises they'll get suspicious since he again doesn't have one. Eventually, he just says, "Excuse me. I'll be back in a few minutes."
- Jenna Marbles does this in one video:
Jenna: Sorry I'm running late, I had to go... wash... my... cat. I'm the worst liar ever.
- JesuOtaku has a review where Bennett the Sage manages to get him to watch Eiken, much to his distress. By the time it's over, however, he says it wasn't that torturous... at which point Bennett pulls out Garzey's Wing. His response? "Sorry, Sage, I can't hear you. I'm going through a tunnel...in the bathroom."
- Luke Mochrie and the Inners: Film Conscience:
- In the Season of the Witch episode, Ringo tries to avoid having to comment on the writing of the film by saying this:
Ringo: I need to go...uh...put out a fire...in the bathroom.note
- Speaking of, when confronted with the possibility of watching The Last Airbender, Kinley claims she left her water running, which you'd think would be I Have To Wash my hair, and then she adds "in Canada", putting it in this trope (this was taking place at an American convention).
- In the Season of the Witch episode, Ringo tries to avoid having to comment on the writing of the film by saying this:
- When The Nostalgia Chick showed up on Todd in the Shadows' doorstep trying to get him to review Crossroads with her, he tries to get out of it by saying, "Yeah, I gotta go wash the dog...the fish...so...", but he gets dragged into it anyway.
- RabSoPetty's Abridged Series of Jujutsu Kaisen: The waiter who senses something is seriously wrong at Geto and Jogo's table and decides to quit on the spot tells his boss that he has to go home because his goldfish has COVID.
- Todd in the Shadows and Paw Dugan were able to worm their way out of helping Pushing Up Roses review 33 and 1/3 Revolutions per Monkee by claiming to be "on fire" and "drowning", respectively. After Roses invites the two of them to return for more LPs after Putt Putt Goes to the Moon, Todd attempts to escape with "I have to... go... mow the carpet."
Real Life
- It turns out that if you ask to cut in line for the photocopier and give the reason "because I need to make some copies", most people will actually comply.
- The classic sexual euphemisms "gathering nuts in May" and "looking for cuckoo nests" are both examples of this; nut-bearing plants don't bear fruit that early, and cuckoos don't build their own nests.
- The Chief Purser on the ocean liner Ile de France had planned ahead by installing a telephone in his office that wasn't connected to anything. Whenever he wanted to get away from a tiresome or troublesome passenger without being rude, he would step on a hidden button beneath his desk, causing the fake phone to ring. He would then answer it, pretend to listen, then reply: "Yes Captain, right away!" and hastily excuse himself.
- Donald Trump:
- A bunch of Republicans actually pulled this stunt to get out of having to do anything with him, including one claim of "watching dumpster fires". Similarly, Americans gave hilarious responses when Trump put out a Facebook invite to his inauguration.
- When Trump made a visit to Scotland in July of 2025, Scottish politician Stephen Flynn joked that he'd be washing his hair the entire time Trump was in the country. Flynn is completely bald.
- A bunch of Republicans actually pulled this stunt to get out of having to do anything with him, including one claim of "watching dumpster fires". Similarly, Americans gave hilarious responses
- Oscar Wilde is said to have turned down an invitation because it conflicted with "a subsequent engagement" (i.e. he didn't have anything currently scheduled for that time, but he intended to be doing something, anything else).
- This post on Gaijin Smash discusses the cultural gap on date excuses.