Douglas: Question-and-answer film double bills.
Martin: What do you mean?
Douglas: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Gandhi.
Martin: What do you mean?
Douglas: Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Gandhi.
— Cabin Pressure, "Xinzhou"
Lots of works ask questions. Some of these are rhetorical questions, never designed to be answered. Some of them are big questions that drive the entire plot. You could be respectful and wait for the work to finish addressing these questions. Or, you could be a jerk and give a sarcastic answer right now. This page is for the second one. Answer a rhetorical question. Make snarky responses to a work's driving question. Go ahead, this is a Just for Fun page. That kind of stuff is allowed. Warning: unmarked spoilers.
Not to be confused with Ask a Stupid Question... which refers to questions acknowledged in-universe as being stupid.
Examples:
- Advertising
- Anime & Manga
- Films - Animation
- Films - Live-Action
- Literature
- Live-Action TV
- Music
- Theatre
- Video Games
- Web Original
- Western Animation
- Tropes
- Other
open/close all folders
Asian Animation
- Motu Patlu?
- What?! There is no surprise party for me?
- We don't need no surprise parties if we can have another more fitting party.
- If you were expecting one, would it really have been a surprise party?
- Dhokla, why are you taking so much food?
- "With Great Power Comes... A Catch?"
- Responsibility, son.
- Who is the carrot thief?
- Why is my heart beating so hard? Could this be... love?
- Finally, someone who understands my emotions.
- What if they decide to torture me?!
- Simple. I eliminate them.
- Beavyucks... can't... fly?!
- They can't.
- Tell Me Why?
- "Worm's He Gone?"
- "Why did that young titular kid get I.R.I.S.?"
Comedy
- Where is the blue food?
- There's Blue M&M's.
- Eiffel 65 ate it all. Why do you think they're so blue? (Da ba dee da ba di, da ba dee, da ba di...)
- In this delicious muffin.
- Blue is an appetite suppressant. I'm not sure if that's a cause or an effect, though.
- Percy's house.
- My house... bitch.
- The Crossings.
- Next to the green food
- I hear waffles come in blue. Go on, Google it.
- Really? What's it look like?
- I don't like food anymore.
- I ate those food
- I’ll do you one better! WHO is the blue food?
- I’ll do YOU one better! WHY is the blue food?
- What a waste of material.
- It went bad and became purple stuff.
- Blue food? What the hell is that?
- What's New Pussycat?
- Scooby-D... Wait, wrong animal.
- Somebody put this bell on me while I was asleep.
- Good Guy and I are going to buy meat buns for the Lacking Lady! *
- Who you calling a pussy?
- You bunch of pussies. I'm just getting started. Lucille is thirsty.
- *cough* Pussy! *cough* Bitch! *cough*. Ah, I'm sorry, my apologies. I meant to call you a pussy bitch. But without the coughing.
- Which one? Josie, Melody or Valerie?
- What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.
- Nothing.
- If crimefighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
- Simple: They fight for freedom.
- Which jacket, love? The cream, the bone, the white, the off-white, the ivory or the beige?
- Just pick anything that looks real.
- Whichever's cheaper.
- Do Americans really say "Who's your Daddy?"
- Who is shaving on the plane and shaving so much, they're using up razor blades?
- Where's your Messiah now?
- He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
- Right. Here. *fires Evoker to own head*
- In Bruges. It's in fucking Belgium.
- I am the Messiah. And you can rot in hell for your sins. Now let me get this into your head with the extended version: I am not looking for my Messiah, I am the Messiah! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!
- Adonai don't know! I don't nobis... miserere nobis...
- Hey, man! Hey, man! What if the engine burns out? How far can the other one take us?
Comic Books
- What, are you dense?
- Are you retarded or something?
- Who the hell do you think I am?
- You are the walrus, goo goo g'joob.
- Kamina?
- Rho, I don't think so.
- No, I'm kinda sparse.
- How dare you comment on my mass-volume ratio?!
- Dense and wacky.
- Dim-witted... dense... dumb...
- I'm your density. I mean... your destiny.
- Who watches the Watchmen?
- The Watcher, duh.
- All the other Watchmen.
- Me. I watch myself all the time.
- Whoever owns the probably watched it at least once.
- Internal Affairs.
- I don't know. Coast Guard?
- Definitely not Alan Moore
- The Watchmen-Watchers. But who watches them?
- The Watchmen-Watcher-Watchers. But who watches THEM?
- The Watchmen-Watcher-Watcher-Watchers. BUT WHO WATCHES THEM?
- The Watchmen watch themselves.
- The National Watchmen-Watching Organization. The next two watching layers are covered as well.
- Do I still think in those little yellow boxes?
- Apparently not, you think in TV Tropes bullet points.
- What exactly is that supposed to sound like?
- Not since they sewed your mouth shut.
- If not it's probably Madcap.
- Who is The Question?
- Charles Victor Szasz A.K.A. Vic Sage and Renee Montoya.
- No, to be or not to be is the question. Who is the Doctor.
- Walter Joseph Kovacs. No, wait, that's someone else.
- ?
- Just when they think they've got the answer, I change the question!
- Not important. The answer is far worse.
- I'll do you one better. Why is the Question?
- Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
- He left yesterday.
- Nothing. It'll be at least a day before anything happens to him.
- He's out fighting the Caped Crusader.
- He's visiting his cousin.
- He's in another universe.
- He'll be here tomorrow.
- He's in another castle.
- He's with the mouse.
- He left tomorrow, but he'll be back by yesterday.
- Whatever Didn't Happen to the Man of Yesterday?
- I know that everyone is ending tomorrow; why, they are the 1st.
- Leave the assassination tomorrow.
- Everything will end tomorrow.
- The galaxy may never know, but stay tuned for more baseless speculation and crackpot theories on Behind the Hero.
- Superman's dead.
- Spider-Man: Threat or Menace?
- Don't believe everything you read, folks! I'm more like an obnoxious prankster. Really, I'm a very nice person.
- That's just two different versions of the same thing...
- Neither. Unless he's in his black suit. Then he's both.
- Miles Morales does not approve of above poster.
- I happen to be both and I'm deeply offended. Wait, are you a cop? Forget what I said.
- Threatening menace.
- I'm here to kill you, so both.
- The emissary from Hell… Spider-Man!
- What the hell happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?
- Were you gentle? Were you kind?
- Yes sir.
- Did you treat her like a lady?
- Uh... yes.
- Did you eat her pussy like a lady?
- Well, I...
- I'm just fucking with you! A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy! Now get the fuck out.
- If I ever find one of these lying around again, I swear to FUCKING God, I will stop being so polite.
- You ever hear the one about the guy that brought a baseball bat to a gun fight... FUCKER?
- You ever hear the one about the stupid fuck named Rick who fucking thought he knew shit but didn't know shit and got himself fucking killed?
- Bit of advice. Try using knives next time. Works better for close encounters.
- No, what you have are bullets, and the hope that when your guns are empty I'm no longer standing, because if I am you'll all be dead before you've reloaded.
- A gun is a coward's weapon. It lets us kill too easily, saving us the mess and the work.
- And I don't. And that makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!
- Captain BaseBallBat-Boy has an unbeatable track record in superhero deathmatches.
- Smile, damn you, why don't you smile? You've got enough Joker venom to finish off a regiment of elephants. Why don't you smile? Why don't you die?
- Is the "hard" really necessary? Whatever happened to hitting people in moderation?
- All things in moderation. Including moderation.
- Necessary? No. it was fun.
- Who dares?! Who dares strike the personage of Doctor Doom?
- the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing! It's Clobberin' Time!
- I'm the guy that tells you there are guys you can hit and there's guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, but it's almost a guy you can't hit. So I'm gonna make a fuckin' ruling on this right now. You don't fuckin' hit him. You understand?
- You dare? You dare to pull a gun on me — to pull a gun on me here? DO YOU?!
- No, I'll wait until you finish your speech. Go ahead.
- I just did, Bats.
- WHO DARES SUMMON ETERNITY?
- I did the right thing, didn't I? It all worked out in the end.
- THE CITY'S BEEN FUCKING DESTROYED!
- But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
- What you did was very spiteful, but it was also very brave and very honest and I respect you for doing that. But the content of what you said has made me hate you. So there's a layer of respect, admittedly, for your truthfulness, but it's peppered with hate. Hateful respect.
- Actually, you doomed us all. Again.
- Is that a monkey?
- Is this some kind of sex thing?
- Why would it be a sex thing?
- They call sex 'social links' here!
- Sakuya, what's sex?
- Well, sooner or later sex enters into everything.
- How can you possibly live in a world without Superheroes?
- Who makes us suffer this way?
- Who writes the world?
- What's so funny about Truth, Justice, and the American Way?
- I been reading about you... how you work for the blue skins, and on a planet someplace you helped out the orange skins... and you done considerable for the purple skins! Only there's skins you never bothered with -- the black skins! I want to know... how come?! Answer me that, Mr. Green Lantern!
- Why? That's what they all asked me. Why him... why Starscream? Why, of all Decepticons, did I decide to revitalize the one whose record of deceit and betrayal is LEGEND?
- Megatron had learned a long time ago that no one could be trusted. He had also learned that even untrustworthy aides were useful and could be counted on in certain situations.
- In the moments when my all-consuming destiny lies ahead of me, you remind me of the need to watch my back. And that is your importance, Starscream.
- The fact is Starscream, despite your treachery, I've allowed you to carry on this long because I took a certain delight in following your string of failures. But you've finally become tiresome, predictable...you've hit rock bottom.
- Who Is Donna Troy?
- You think this letter on my head stands for FRANCE?!
- I'm sorry. What was that again?
- You still don't even know the damn alphabet?!
- I do. Which is why I won't tell you.
- A, B, C, D, I forget. Who cares? I don't remember.
- Now all of Paris is burning because you don't know your alphabet!
- A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
I never learned to spell,
At least, not well. - A, B, C, D, E, F, U.
- A, B, C, D, E, F, G. H, I, J, K, LMNOP. Q, R, S. T, U, V. W, X. Y and Z. Now, can you say the alphabet backwards?
- You know the kind of cancer you ultimately get better from?
- The cancer of being oppressed by my Grandmaster.
- Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome?
- Explain.
- Did you bring me anything of value, bounty hunter?
- The rebel leader's head.
- What?! Hulk has share his 20th anniversary issue with puny talking animal?!
- ME NO TALKING ANIMAL!
- ME AM NOT TALKING ANIMAL! ME AM BIZARRO!
- Hey, Joe! You got chewing gum?
- I'm all out of chewing gum.
- Will bubble gum suffice?
- A Distinction Without a Difference
- Did I miss something? Was I away when they changed the rules?
- Recognize my voice, Hartigan? Recognize my voice, you piece-of-shit cop? I look different, but I bet you can recognize my voice!
- What is this mad obsession with freedom?
- Obsession? THIS IS MY DUTY! AMERICA SHALL HAVE FREEDOM, NOT SLAVERY!
- What power have dreams in hell?
- SO! They laugh at my boner, will they?!
- Big boner, my ass!
- Boner? I barely know her!
- * Big boner down the lane
- Does he haveta use that corny battle cry all the time?!!
- Nobody makes anybody happy anymore. Why should they? What's to be gained?
- Don't you know anything about science?
- You're not using your mind-powers to cheat, are ya?
- Now then -- who can tell me the most important part of being a Moon Trooper?!
- To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!
- If I had to guess, the part where you're on the moon.
Comic Strips
- They haven't stopped making frozen pudding pops, have they?
- Our baby is a RABBIT?!? How come we have a rabbit?!
- What if we die and it turns out God is a big CHICKEN?? What then?!
- How did my stapler get in the freezer?
- Now what was a pig doing eating roast beef?
- Looks like someone forgot that it's Eid-Al Adha today.
Fan Works
- Are you one of us?
- What, a troper? Yeah.
- One of Us is a... oh. Wrong context.
- You're one of them!
- Since There Are No Girls on the Internet, yes.
- No. What you gonna do now?
- Gooba-gobble, gooba-gobble! We accept you, one of us!
- Depends, who are you?
- One of us? He looks like three of us!
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS?!
- Making sweet love to pregnant women.
- Mothers aren't perpetually pregnant.
- Playing Russian Roulette, obviously.
- Being a whiny little goffic bitch.
- Your Mom
- Draco.
- Ron.
- I'm not doing anything wrong, just trying to catch my slippery little friend. And committing grand theft auto for two seconds.
- Are you out of your fucking mind?! NO ONE fucks my maam!
- Doing drugs, it's like being on top of the world.
- Making sweet love to pregnant women.
- Is it a sin, should a man feel like faggarting a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles?
- This sentence makes less and less sense as you go on.
- Remember When You Blew Up a Sun?
- Remember When You Faggarted a Sun?
- How exactly do you 'faggart' something, anyway?
- Very carefully.
- But You Faggart One Sun
- Technically speaking, suns don't have to heave through the void, they simply... do.
- Well, the sun is already in a relation with the moon. Kind of.
- Tsukuyomi is not gonna be happy about this...
- Your reign of terror ends here, Galactic Conqueror.
- Sobering words from a drug-addled weirdo.
- Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
- Yeah, so?
- That's against the rules, isn't it?
- Actually, there are several situations in which it is perfectly within the rules to summon more than one monster in a turn. It's called a Special Summon. Look at your freakin' rulebook.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!
- Screw the rules, I have green hair!
- Screw the Money, I Have Rules! ...wait, let me try that again.
- Has the whole world gone CRAZY?! Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
- What else does it look like I did?
- Triple Battles are a bit weird like that.
- Actually no, I just ordered my Leafeon to use Double Team.
- You're goddamn right I did!
- Yeah, so?
- Oh Shit, There's Fanfiction of Us!?
- Oh, the fan fiction? Keep up the good work.
- Wow, I have to admit, I'm impressed. Who knew all it would take to unnerve the almighty Kira was a couple of pages of poorly written smut?
- Oh dear God. They’re going to write all the porn, aren’t they? Just all of it. Ewwwwwww.
- Well, there was the one writer who really thought Unit 01 was cute. And...tentacles? Did any story need those many tentacles? Not that he was a bad writer, he was actually fantastic-
- My Wolverine-and-Storm-in-space fanfic was the third-most upvoted story on Freaking Awesome last month!
- Do You Believe in Fairies?
- Kakyouin! Did you lay this egg?
- That's not something you Yolk about
- If Goku's so powerful, then why is he always DEAD?note
- Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
- Just because someone is powerful, doesn't mean he can't die.
- He always comes back because Death Is Cheap.
- OH NO WHERE DID HEADCRAB COME FROM!
- Champion or not, you're still doing what you love. Aren't you?
- If what I love is watching you suffer, then the answer is yes.
- Why is it that every year around this season, you get more sad and depressing to be around than usual?
- I'm a loner, okay? The only way I can be happy is to be forever alone. Especially as the last being on this planet...when all others are dead!
- Urgh! You Monster!
- Seasonal depression is a thing, you know.
- Because I don't care about anything!
- I'm a loner, okay? The only way I can be happy is to be forever alone. Especially as the last being on this planet...when all others are dead!
- What can a chameleon do?
- Go Google it, bitch.
- Okay, DAMN.
- Color Change!
- Go Google it, bitch.
- Shall we spare a thought for the devil?
- He will bend to my will!
- But will he will at your bend?
- Now who plays the fool?
- He will bend to my will!
- In a world that cheated me, why should I play fair?
- What is wrong with your hair?!
- Tell me; were you just having cinnamon toast?
- No, I was having toasted cinnamon.
- You do realize that being eighteen means I'm a grownup, right?
- I do. Which just makes you all the more childish.
- What good do all these sticks do on the ice?
- How would I know?
Let’s Play
- Are hummingbirds the sharks of the sky?
- That would be a no.
- (looks at the sky) OH MY GOD THERE'S A SHARK!
- Oh my god what was the heck was the what the what the what?
- You're also going to get a thumping in a minute.
- Calm down and try that one again.
- Sweet Christmas! Big-mouthed floating thingies! It's always something!
- Are your boobs ready?
- Vagisil?
- How do I put thrusters on a baby?
- Are you sure about that?
- Should we do Daisy on hard?
- Probably not; The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard.
- Good night everybody!
- You could also do Daisy on very hard.
- How big of a dick do you wanna be, Tim?
- Were dinosaurs a pre-War thing or a pre-pre-War thing?
- Where's MY reward for being bad at the game?
Pro Wrestling
- DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
- Yeah...and it stinks!
- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT STINKS!
- Hells yeah, it smells delicious!
- Is that...roast beef?
- No, it's pie!
- A pie IN YOUR FACE!
- Is it... stone soup?
- No. I don't have a nose.
- Really? How do you smell?
- Awful! Trust me, I'm his roommate.
- I can't; I don't have a nose!
- You know, I'm really sorry we haven't worked out that scratch-and-sniff TV yet.
- My face was born for beauty. I have no smell.
- Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
- Smells like... chili beans.
- Actually, that was me. I made a darth doody. I sithed my pants. My diaper's gone over to the dark side. I have pages of these, I can go on.
- YOU SMELL LIKE APPLE TURNOVERS!
- It smells like wet fur in here.
- Smelled like...victory...
- It smells like...CARTOON PLANET!
- Yeah, Mister! Get this guy off me! He smells like hard-boiled eggs!
- Yeah...and it stinks!
- What you gonna do... when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
- A barrel roll.
- Gonna live my life.
- Initiate Attack Pattern Alpha.
- Do a little dance ~Make a little love~.
- Get down tonight.
- I'll take this chip... and eat it
- I will cast down your Codex and bask in the dying agony of those who hold it dear.
- Hulk isn't enough to save the world.
- Really? Really?
- Can you dig it... SUCKAAAAA?!?!
- I certainly can, and I might find coal, or gold, or even obsidian.
- I don't know. Are you talkin' 'bout Shaft?
- John Shaft.
- I shovel well. I shovel very well.
- That might not be a good idea.
- Prepare to taste justice! Shovel justice!
- 2376. The Dwarven work ethic is not just "Dig until we hit evil."
- "Speaking of sucking, how's your jaw doing, Sonic?" "Actually, it's feeling much be—— ...YOU!"
- Diglett dig. Diglett dig. Trio, trio, trio.
- I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole! Diggy diggy hole! Diggy diggy hole!
- We dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig in our mine the whole day through
To dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig is what we really like to do. - GORON POWER, GOOO!!!
- Great! Dig it! Dig it! Dig to the center of the earth!
- YOUR MOM SWALLOWS!
- How do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder?
- Gravity teaches you most of it for free. It is a harsh mistress.
- By running out of stamina.
- How much more punishment can he take?
- How much has he had already?
- KO!
- He's a Combat Sadomasochist who can take infinite punishment and still enjoy the beatdown.
- What kind of disgusting, despicable lack of respect does that Billy Whatshisname show, booking a match for the Total Package Lex Luger at Superbrawl? Super Saturday? What is it? I don't know what it's called! What's it called? Superbrawl Saturday? Can he afford to pay me to wrestle Ron? I DON'T KNOW!
- Who booked this crap?
- WHO'S YOUR DADDY, MONTREAL?
- Wakaru ka, ore no chikara? Wakaru ka, ORE WA ICHIBAN!?Translation
- No. Could you demonstrate?
- How's that for a coincidence? My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels as well!
- You Are Number Six
- We are number one! HEY!
- You were always the best. Nobody ever came close. You define the art and it defines you.
- You ain't worth spit.
- Always Second Best.
- The only one that should be number is me, Shiratsuyu Ichiban!
- Who's that jumpin' out the sky?
- You think you can tell us what to do?
- You think you can tell us what to wear?
- You think that you're better?
- I'm basically better than you at everything.
- You guys always act like you're better than me!
- I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone!
- You are the audience member! I am the author! I outrank you!
- You're a third-class Saiyan! I'm a Saiyan Elite, you low-class dog!
- Son of a bitch! How can they be so arrogant?! No one's better than me!
- I am greater in every way.
- Who's stronger than Hulk? No one! NO ONE!
- Anything you can do, I can do better.
- I'm more important than you'll ever be in your life, so fuck you!
- I just did.
- I am. I'm better than you, and you know it.
- No one can tell me what to do!
- What I choose to do is decided by me.
- You Americans are so fond of being in charge.
- I... but... it's... not... it's totally... it's... y...you're not the boss of... me?
- Remember! Football develops initiative, leadership, and individuality! Now go out there and do exactly as I told you!
- Who asks someone to do something that they don't want to do themselves?! Oh hey, can you go and get me a Lakitu's Cloud, Mario?
- Stop telling me what to do!
- You all think I'm a frog-faced loser?
- LOSER! YOU'RE A LOSER! DO YOU FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DIRT! YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU BIG BABY! BABY WANT A BOTTLE? A BIG DIRT BOTTLE?!
- Who are you calling losers?!
- But he's got the rest right.
- Okay, let me make this very simple for all of you. You're losers! I don't mean that in an endearing way; It fucking hurts me that I have to interact with all of you so much.
- I only state observable facts.
Radio
- Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?
- God. Assuming you believe in that sort of thing. If not, don't worry about it.
- Well, obviously I do. I was only wondering if there was someone else.
- Edward D. Morrison.
- Aatrox.
- Ooh! I do! I do!
- Put your hand down, Ferb...
- Blood?
- Aren't all men already evil by blood by default?
- Phillip, do I still have the power to behead people?
- Lock them in the tower, perhaps?
- Punch in the face would do.
- Lao Tzu said: 'You must find the way.' I've found it. You must find it too... So I'm going to cut off your head. Then you'll know the truth!
- I believe decapitation is a problem as well.
- Well, I guess decapitation works.
- I mean, I was going to suggest being trapped in R. Kelly's basement. But yes, decapitation is also bad.
- Yes.
- Why is everybody looking at me?
- Because you're not wearing anything.
- You're the distraction.
- You're a damn good fireman.
- Oh, please. I have no soul.
- I have two. One on each shoe.
- Your humor will die with you.
- Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol.
- Learning kung-fu.
- She's Ling Xiaoyu's pet and bodyguard. And she trained all her life to teach you a lesson about the drawbacks animal cruelty!
- One word: Salvation!
- I have no reason to think you're lying, but be straight with me and the people of Gotham, why are you leading us all naked and screaming to the Joker’s killing floor?
- WHICH WAY MADNESS? Which way madness?
- I have so many questions- HOW DO WE DIE?
Visual Novels
- What the hell is a funyarinpa?
- It's a noun.
- According to online translators, it's nodes and poop.
- Strange is your language, and I have no decoder.
- But that's Kaede's lie, isn't it?
- You still got a ways to go.
- It's not even April, is it?
- That isn't true. I haven't told a single lie since I was born.
- No. It's yours.
- Do you accept my confession?
- Sorry, but seeing as you weren't even born yet when Elizabeth Short was murdered, I'm having a bit of trouble believing that you're the Black Dahlia Killer.
- Um... Not really, I only just met you, I don't even know your name.
- I'm not talking to you, ya fat fuck!
- Yes. HEARTBROKEN
- You confessed to kill me.
- Polly, are we forgetting something?
- The diamonds! My god! I've forgotten them completely!
- They forgot all about the stupid-ass boulder from the beginning of my Nintendogs playthrough, AND IT CAME BACK FROM OUTER SPACE AND FUCKING KILLED EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!
- Oh no. Doctor Connor's class. I got so caught up at what I was doing that I forgot all about it. He's gonna kill me.
- No crackers, Gromit! We've forgotten the crackers!
- You forgot one thing: this play isn't over by a long shot yet.
- Here's a suggestion. Have you considered killing yourself? It'd be beneficial to your mental health.
- If I'm gonna die all alone, I'm gonna have a little fun before I go.
- Did you think I would let you die alone, Xavier?
- You want fun? Wario show you fun!
- I'm gonna kill myself, probably around 2:30 tomorrow!
- I'm not killing myself unless I kill you along with me!
- There are still many exams left before I'll be qualified to die.
- I am unable to comply.
- If I'm gonna die all alone, I'm gonna have a little fun before I go.
- When I burn down the library, it's "disrespectful", but when I masturbate in it, THAT'S disrespectful, too?!
- YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS!
- It seems like politically correct culture is killing the comedy!
- Yes.
- Do you know how to conquer a monster’s heart?
- Wait! Are you planning on killing Damien's whole family?
- Yes, I will. I'm the Joker!
- But that's the point.
- Planning? Already have.
- How could you be so mean to us, Edgy-poo?
- Me? Mean to you? You started all this!
- Because I am a horrible goose.
- Do robots have dicks?
- They can if you design them to have them.
- We gendered him male.
- Well, I believe we're all thinking the same thing. How can we deal with these unsettling feelings stirred within us...?
- What if... we throw it out the window?
- Why would I lie about something so meaningless? What good would it even do?
- To gain their trust.
- Are you suggesting we kill ourselves?... Won't we be dead?
- Yes! That's a fringe benefit.
- How many times do I have to tell you to snuff out your heart?
- Did you just say 'wink' out loud?
- Are you sure that's what you want, or do you want to interrupt me some more?
- My mission cannot be interrupted.
- Oh, I'm sorry, do you think I'm in a position of luxury right now?
- Would I just lie? Would I just lie to your face and tell you that a thing I remembered happening didn't happen just so I could stab you again?
- Why? You've already lied to me enough. Now you face termination.
- Do you not know about The Look?
- What is "The Look"?
- Who gives a shit about truth?
- I do. You do. We do.
- Does sperm collect to your lower part of the body in large quantities?
Web Animation
- Do you ever wonder why we're here?
- What's life all about?
- I dunno. I think we're lost.
- Because we're here. Roll the bones.
- Wherever you go, there you are.
- I'm searching for my lost shaker of salt.
- ... What's it all about, you've no idea, and everywhere you look, all you see is hatred, and darkness, death and fear...
- A Wizard Did It.
- You're here because you wanted to feel like something you're not: a hero.
- I came into this casino to get that beeping noise outta my head! With strippers! And gambling! And strippers! But there are no strippers!
- I'm just trying to get a better look at Beavis and Butthead over there.
- Because you touch yourself at night.
- Well, we ain't here to f**k spiders.
- We're here to fuck shit up.
- Why are we here? What is any of this for? These are the questions no one was asking.
- Why are we here? For what purpose do we exist? We must not dwell on these questions. We can merely trust in the will of the universe and spend our days and nights in harmony with the world, celebrating this festival called Life.
- No. I listened at the briefing.
- What happened to Georgia?
- Let's just say it involved a malfunctioning jetpack, an asteroid and a medium-calibre gun and leave it at that.
- General Sherman.
- Well, that depends. Are we talking about Georgia as in the state or Georgia as in the country?
- I heard the Devil went down there, looking for a soul to steal... he was in a bind, was WAY behind, so he was willin' t'make a deal...
- Ron White was there. He couldn't pick up the turd.
- I got my peaches out in Georgia
I get my weed from California
I took my chick up to the North, yeah
I get my light right from the source, yeah
- How did you know to break the pencil, Kenstar?
- Once you've broken pretty much everything else, there's only a limited amount of stuff left to break at all.
- Is it just me, or is this movie making less and less sense?
- Su- ...oes lo- ..ike it, do- ..it? *FIVE SECONDS OF PURE STATIC*
- Ok, who let Arakune edit Tv Tropes?
- Raiden, stop making sense!
- Beata Maria, you know I will mindfuck the viewer.
- You don't understand. It's a mind*EFF*.
- You know, this is why no one likes you! You're so judgmental and all you care about is a storyline that actually makes sense! *scoff* You sicken me!
- Am I the only one who understands the complexities of this ambitious cinematic masterpiece? This movie isn't stupid! You're stupid!
- Actually, this movie made even more sense in context AND hindsight.
- Su- ...oes lo- ..ike it, do- ..it? *FIVE SECONDS OF PURE STATIC*
- Do you believe in destiny?
- Close your eyes and leave the rest to me...
- It's just an excuse to take no responsibility for anything. I believe in density, however.
- Your pun is not appreciated. Don't confuse destiny with density.
- Screw Destiny!
- Our destiny is your death!
- Well, given that she's one of my best friends, yes!
- I must fulfill my destiny and lay waste to your home.
- F*** destiny! I am Seto Kaiba! I make my own fate.
- Fate and Chance are not mutually exclusive.
- This... was not your destiny, Shinnok.
- Our destiny is where our fate takes us.
- Not when I can still reload old saves.
- Wouldn't it be weird if the very first and very last spoken words of BFDI were the same?
- I don't know, I guess it would?
- No.
- Are you cereal?
- Come on, do I look anything like food?
- Yes.
- Not exactly. I Am Bread.
- No, you moron! Cereal!
- No, You are cereal.
- Come on, do I look anything like food?
- He keeps kicking me in the dick! Why? Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?
- For Massive Damage.
- Would you rather it was the goddamn eye?
- But... the ball! His groin! Ha ha! It works on so many levels!
- Rule #4 of the Fight Club: Hitting in the groin is allowed, because, let's face it: we're all pretty much smooth down there.
- Please. This isn't a bar fight. Have some class.
- Whenever I'm around, every fight I'm in is not only a bar fight, but also a back alley beatdown.
- So you will never have children ever again.
- Were you just first-basin' it with that piece of loose-leaf?!
- Where's the moon?
...
WHERE'S THE DAMN MOON?!- Vulcan has no moon.
- Their songs are on the whole very simple, and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason.
- Queen Beryl did a terrible thing when she destroyed the Moon.
- Target their moon... and blow it out of the sky.
- Poor old moon. With a good half of it torn into dust and the rest of it suffering severe damage to its atomic bonds... it didn't really have a chance once an Indian god had decided to throw an Iranian devil at it.
- Gru stole it.
- You. Blew. Up. A. Moon.
- You throw another moon at me, and I'm gonna lose it.
- Fuck you, moon! You never had the cheese I wanted!
- I'm pissing on the MOOOOON!
- Thank you for finding the moon, but I wish you hadn't!
- Fuck you, Mr. Wickles.
- When this world is no more, the moon is all we'll see.
- YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON
- We are in the universe, planets live inside the moon! A rocket ship can go to space, a rocket ship can go to the moon!
- This planet doesn't have a moon, yet it has the same gravity and physics as Earth.
- "Look up at the sky for five seconds, and then 50,000 miles away, you will see a taxi. That's where the Moon is." What?
- I'm not so sure...
- And on that day you became the silver moon, I became a shining star in the sky... As we danced on the banks of the Milky Way, we'll always be together!
- A vegan blew a hole in it. Twice.
- It was never a moon, and it is far from gone!
- Wow, who would've thought lightning could hurt a robot?
- Who parked their car on my sandwich?
- Someone who's about to be acquainted with Sasha.
- That would be your mother!
- That makes sense, it wasn't the samwich that parked the car, but the samwich. That makes sense! But I still gotta figure out how can a samwich make sense.
- If I hear about your sandwiches, your car, or the car on your sandwiches, if I hear about any of it once more, I shall give them to the ducks!
- Someone who's about to be acquainted with Sasha.
- Can somebody tell me dis? How can a samwich make a samwich?
- How can a footprint make a samwich?
- How can a footprint make a footprint?
- How can ya make a footprint samwich?
- Are you the samwich-making samwich?
- How can a samwich make sense?
- What is a "samwich"?
- How can you shot men of yours almost?
- The workers must be taught to obey.
- I'm on your side, you fucking idiots! How many of you do I have to kill before you understand that?!
- He had it coming.
- Oh, I never really liked her anyway.
- Don't worry, folks, it's not really aggravated assault because those weren't bullets! Just ground sausage shot at the speed of bullets. And besides, I missed all the vital organs on purpose.
- So, it's raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there: your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant woman who has to go to the hospital, and the girl of your dreams. Your smart car only has two seats. What do you do?
- Say "Can't believe they charged me for two seats!".
- Drive alone and leave all three behind.
- Tell me, if not HUNT DOWN FREE MAN, what is point for moint?!
- I...don't know what you mean.
- We need a blunt instrument, knock him out and then regroup.
- How do you type with boxing gloves on?
- It can't be that hard. One guy can drink tea while wearing them.
- Punch the keyboard. Autocorrect will figure it out.
- ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?!
- You wanna know my secret identity?
- You are "He Who Must Not Be Named".
- I am Peter Parker, whom you may know as Spider-Man.
- Why do you say "how do you say" before words you clearly know how to say?
- Different dialects say differently.
- Alright, I waited until we were alone to ask this. That's me being nice. Can...can I see your legs?
- The Heavy is dead!?
- Yes! He died!
- Look behind you.
- HEAVY IS BACK, BABIES!
- How can you defeat somebody you can't... RECOGNIZE?
- I don't care if I recognize or not recognize people...I'll just kick their asses all the same!
- Kill them all and let God sort them out.
- No one has ever unironically uttered that sentence! What is wrong with you!?
- Never seen someone say A Rare Sentence before?
- Never Heard THAT One Before.
- Doesn't it bother you guys that you don't know anything?
- Who can tell me how to say "shoes" in Italian?
- Scarpe.
- "Shoes" in Italian.
- Have you never before supped upon pine-ed cone?
- Why do we have to fight right now? Like, from a storytelling perspective?
- Survival.
- I like the word "moist", OK?! It's who I am! And if you can't accept that, then what's the point?
- Why?
- But what have our parents done for the last forever while those things build a spire of corpses?
- You really think the company isn’t going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead?
- How about you go and not rob a bank?
- Who's always givin' Strong Bad a hand?
- Who's always messin' up Homestar's plans?
- Honestly? Homestar.
- Who's gonna start a rock and roll band?
- My dear, I am my own rock and roll band.
- Who's Making - Out - With - Marzipan!?
- Who is Marzipan?
- Who's the man that looks like The Cheat?
- His Evil Twin
- Who's the one with the yellow feet?
- You Answered Your Own Question. Look below your belt.
- Who's the dude that moves to the beat?
- Who's the guy from Twenty One Jump Street?
- Johnny Depp?
- Peter DeLuise?
- Dustin Nguyen?
- Steven Williams?
- Frederic Forrest?
- NAH-NAH! I'll tell you who that guy really is, with everybody saying: "L! A! Knight! YEAH!"
- Who's always messin' up Homestar's plans?
- Uhh, mom, why you no have a costume?
- You! Do you like adventure? Activity? Wonder? Danger? Horror? Pain? Suffering? Agony? Death? Disease? Death? Angel food cake?
- Sports: why...do they exist?
- Biig man hit ball. Ball go woosh.
- Of course there'll be sport.
- Want to buy a snowball to the face? Three for a dollar! And there's a chance that one has five doll hairs inside!
- So, our existence here is just... LARPing?
- Where were YOU on the night of the murder, Pomni?
- Can you call us something other than dipshit?
- Ok, well how about bitch?!
- Frosty.
- Whatever you say, shitdip.
- Whatever floats your boat, pricks!
- Has anybody populated Madagascar yet?
- You know, I've always wanted to ask you... Are you still mad at me for killing you?
- HEY MARIO! EVER WANTED TO BE A DOG?
- AHHH WHO THE F@%# THROWS THEIR PISS AT PEOPLE!?
- So what you're saying is you're inside of another man?
- WHAT?!?! DARTH VADER IS MY DAD?!?!
- Search your feelings, you know them to be true.
- Is this normal? Why are people running?
- They're afraid of you, that's why they're running...from you!
- Now here, you see, it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!
- Am I having an aneurysm, what is happening right now?!
- Do you see visions of the sea?
- My vision is of your downfall from grace.
- Hello my angel, why are you hiding?
- I'm playing hide and seek. Surely you'd know why.
- I'm hiding from people like you, one who brings more problems to this world.
- Is that your parent or guardian?
- Why do you need to be the target audience for my version of Hell?
- Hey guys, two quick questions. Uh, number 1: What the fuck am I looking at? Number 2: Can...Can we stop? Can we...can we not do this? For five seconds? ...FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS?!
- YOU SOLD ME OUT FOR A BAG OF APPLES?!
- My blood... It's purple, right?
- I thought blood was red! Purple blood is impossible!
- Why does everything want to attack me?
- Would you stop with the teeth thing?!
Webcomics
- All done with th' work?
- Work? What even is that?
- Is this loss?
- Hey, quick question. Do you believe anything you say?
- Short answer: no.
- I am a Mormon, and dang it, a Mormon just believes.
- Dare you enter my magical realm?
- Stop injecting your horrible fetishes into our website.
- Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
- Expecting a color comic?
- No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.
- Then you color everything in this comic...right...now! And I want you do it perfectly!
- Doesn't it worry you to be, you know, aflame?
- Lies aren't true, so why would anyone tell them?
- HOW DO YOU MISS A VOLCANO?!
- Miss a volcano? Me? Why would I?
- The volcano missed me, so I returned the favor.
- This place is so unstable, I had to move to a volcano just to feel safe.
- I never miss.
- Does the universe exist only to rob me of any joy?
- Damn straight. Because you're living in a crapsack universe.
- Ask yourself: What would you do for your neighbor?
- Who's this douchebag?
- You from another timeline.
- I don't know him, señor.
- But how can I kill something... that's basically already dead?
- Wait, did you just take that literally?
- He's not dead unless he's erased from this plane of existence.
- What is dead may never die.
- Ever heard of Deader than Dead?
- What do you people think magic is for?
- Magic is an artificial construct.
- Magic is the bloodstream of the universe.
- For Magical Girls to use to kick the shit out of monsters.
- Sudo make me a sandwich.
- How's your Base Attack Bonus?
- What is a "Base Attack Bonus"?
- Depends. Whose base are we attacking?
- Where else can you get a bowl of poop for 5¢?
- Bowls of poop are not for sale.
- What a strange world this is! Full of so many dangers... can I be blamed if it makes me a bit wary?
- 'Sup Tumblr, I just fat-shamed someone! U mad?
- Not for long.
- Not for much longer.
- Why are you naked?
- Did you just call me a 'meatbag'?
- What?
- Did. You. Just. Call. Me. A. 'Meatbag'!?
- Does this mean we're boyfriends?
- How many boyfriends have you stolen!?
- Buckaress has huge bedoncadongs doesn't she?
- Who will be the moron after Gortok's white-hot anger crushes your little body into a mangled bloody pulp while Gortok sings a jaunty tune to accompany your unanswered cries for mercy?
- Who says I'm crying for mercy?
- You used her as a shield, didn't you?
- WHERE'S MY TOP??!
- It's on the table...spinning endlessly... Yeah, you're not waking up anytime soon.
- ...Did you just call me a cutie?
- I did. Which is why I wanted to use you for my Evil Plan.
- How can she even smite? She's not even a paladin!
- Actually, that is exactly what she is all along.
Subversions
- Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
- No one: The tomb isn't underground.
- When was the War of 1812 fought?
- From 1812 to 1815.
- Or from 1812 to 1814. The Battle of New Orleans took place after the Treaty of Ghent was signed.
- How long was The Hundred Years War?
- About 116 years, give or take.
- How long was The Thirty Years' War?
- Thirty years, or forty-one if you include the Franco-Spanish War.
- Twenty-nine.
- The "Canary Islands" are named for which animal?
- The dog. In Latin, "Canariae Insulae" means "Island of the dogs". (The bird was named after the islands.)
- What was the color of George Washington's white horse?
- Grey.
- Grey
- What colour is a white rhino?
- Black. The word "white" in the name is mistranslated and really should be "wide".
- From which animal do you get Cat Gut?
- Sheep and goats.
- In which month did the the October Revolution take place?
- In November. *
- In what month is Oktoberfest?
- September, actually. It's too cold in October. That said, the first Oktoberfests used to take place in October.
- Which was the first name of King George VI?
- Albert. *
- What kind of animal did Prince Sang Nila Utama see that caused him to found a settlement called Singapura*, or Lion City?
- A tiger. *
- Are 'orange' and 'silver' impossible to rhyme?
- No, 'sporange' rhymes with the former and 'chilver' rhymes with the latter. So much for rule 46.
- No, but for 'silver', we have 'shiver'.
- What kind of bird is the feral pigeon?
- A dove (rock dove, to be specific).
- What is Paul McCartney's first name?
- James. Paul is his middle name.
- What kind of species is a Guinea pig?
- A rodent of the genus Cavia.
- Where do Guinea pigs come from?
- Andes, South America.
Inversions (Get a Stupid Question)
- 42.
- I thought of something funnier than 24!
- What is the answer to this question?
- How many pages does it take the average user to realise they've fallen into a Wiki Walk?
- After how many Pokémon generations are Game Freak going to just give up?
- In reality, my milkshake brings how many boys to the yard?
- Out of 100, how many people who watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic are actually bronies?
- I'd Tell You, but Then I'd Have to Kill You.
- How come we don't use MediaWiki?
- I mean, kill you even sooner.
- And we can't show that in a game with this rating. Thanks for the notes!
- How do you pronounce 'Avada Kedavra'?
- Didn't you answer your own question?
- No, we're in print. There's no sound in print.
- "ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted.
- Where the hell is Area 51 located?
- Is this folder a rip-off of "If This is the Answer, What is the Question?"
- Because I Said So.
- Because you told me to!
- What is a Reality Warper's default response to any question?
- I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You!
- I didn't (know).
- You Answered Your Own Question.
- I've Heard of That — What Is It?
- Everything you've seen in your life.
- Which phrase is commonly heard both just before and after opening TV Tropes?
- I'm Thinking It Over!
- 71 hours
- How much grace can Adam Gontier supply me if I'm short on change?
- How long does it take Majora to decide he's tired of screwing around?
- Stop Saying That!
- Because You Were Nice to Me.
- Dude, Not Funny!
- What's so funny about that?
- Sure, Let's Go with That.
- Go with what?
- I Don't Think That's Such a Good Idea.
- But wouldn't it kill you to try?
Why doesn't this article have a stinger?