Blog / El Chigüire Bipolar

1 Following

El Chigüire Bipolar ("The Bipolar Capybara" in Spanish) is a Venezuelan Current Events Blog created in 2008 in the form of a news website that satirizes on-going events, especially those related to the country's national politics.

Can be found here. Contains derivative works such as the newscasts Pero Tenemos Patria, Reporte Semanal and Chigüire Bipolar Noticias, and is also the website behind the Web Animation series Isla Presidencial.

Contains examples of:

• 0% Approval Rating:
  • Based on Maduro's Real Life approval ratings:
    • Top 10 people more popular than Maduro.
    • Dude from the office who reheats fish in the microwave exceeds Maduro in popularity.
    • This Manaplas chair overtakes Maduro in popularity.
  • Coffee that's been cold for half an hour is already more popular than Dilma in Brazil.
• A Dog Ate My Homework: Trial of dog that ate Maduro's Memory and Accounts begins.
• Alternate History: Used often to compare or contrast actual and hypothetical situations.
  • Chávez great person in parallel world where he's not president but a janitor.
  • In parallel universe: Venezuela conquered by Germans is also a mess.
  • Parallel Venezuela where Chávez still lives has rampant inflation.
  • The articles under the Carmona President tag, hypothetizing what would've happened if he had remained more than two days in power.
• The Alleged Car: The Chevrolet Malibu driven by the titular taxi driver in Taxi driver who drives Malibu without air but with full vallenato assures that the taxi app takes away his work. Among other problems, it has a hole in the floor that's being covered up with cardboard, which occasionally moves and results in an uncomfortable breeze coming through there.
• Anthropomorphic Personification: The story of Viveza criolla causes a three hour traffic stop is told around a man who represents that trait.
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
  • Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you says that Maduro knows if you voted or not, your bank account stats, your internet history and what you had for breakfast.
  • In "Government seeks to break relations with Spain to affect many Venezuelans and zero Spaniards", the Chavista regime's resolution plans to expel Spanish diplomatic personnel "to make paperwork for studying or working in Spain more complex", closing Spanish companies "so that flights to Spain take 13 more stops", and renaming the Zara store "Zaraileidy del Mar" and selling only T-shirts and skinny jeans.
• Becoming the Costume: "Boy dresses up as a member of the National Bolivarian Guard and beats up his mother, grandmother and doggy" revolves around this.
• Big Brother Is Watching: Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you, after the Real Life Maduro claimed to know who voted and who didn't on their party's primaries.
• Bling-Bling-BANG!: Maduro (as McDuro) has a gold Russian machine gun in Maduro enters Globovisión with a machine gun and ends the channel once and for all.
• The Bully: The party members in National Electoral Council puts MUD card next to one that says "Whoever votes for this is a faggot ->>"
• Captain Obvious:
  • Capriles is about to discover warm water
  • Expert proposes obvious solution to obvious problem that the government will obviously ignore
• Chest of Medals: Used to mock Maduro's attempts at looking like a militaryman (which he isn't).
  • Top Bipolar: Things Chávez ordered said includes giving Maduro a military uniform with medals so he looks cute.
  • In "Chocolate medallions melt over Maduro's military costume", the chocolate medallions Maduro is wearing during a cadena start to melt, leading to the broadcast being halted (for once) while he's being cleaned up.
  • It's one of Maduro's ideas in Maduro: "They'll call me a dictator, but I'm going to do everything a dictator does."
• Companion Cube: In "Maduro names Rage Against The Machine's first album as economy minister", Maduro nominates a copy of the debut album of Rage Against the Machine, a famously socialist and left-wing band, as the Venezuelan economy minister.
• Conspiracy Theorist: After the actual figures.
  • Maduro: "The irresponsible opposition hasn't spoken against the murderous alien lizards."
  • Maduro announces that his proof was stolen and he has proof.
  • The entire world is a conspiracy to make you believe that Mario Silva is an idiot.
• Corrupt Politician: It should go without saying that the blog features loads of these. Among many entries there's "Caldera demonstrates with recording that everybody is just as corrupt".
• Creator Breakdown: In-Universe example; after the Real Life Maduro claimed that Hugo Chávez was reincarnated into a birdie that spoke to him, El Chigüire Bipolar released "Little bird blesses Maduro and... I don't know... you really can't make a joke out of this, what a shitty country" over the fact that reality was surpassing their comedy.
• Cutting Corners:
  • "New Venevisión soap opera brings together 97% of all botox in the country" claims that the network is "the only television station in the country that still has the budget to record with Xiaomi phones".
  • "VTV leaves the CapCut mark at the end of La Hojilla" declares that VTV edits its programs using CapCut, InShot and PicsArt, as well as an ancient Samsung S3 Mini smartphone, and the representative quoted declares that the network will air Deadpool & Wolverine through a torrented copy without even bothering to pay for the rights.
  • "Economic crisis forces parents to educate their children with La Bomba" involves parents who can't afford to pay for educational goods having to use trashy morning talk shows to educate their kids.
• Driven to Suicide:
  • "This report's writer calculates his wage at the parallel rate and commits suicide".
  • "Farmhand commits suicide because nobody appreciates the most beautiful plaintain he's harvested", a Deconstructive Parody of a (in)famous ad for plantain chips.
• Fun with Acronyms:
  • "Chávez: Children should abandon violent videogames and go play out the streets" includes a study made by the "Instituto Moderador Bolivariano para Evaluación de Contenidos Imperialistas y Lacayos (IMBECIL)"
  • "Viceminister for the people's supreme social happiness reduces parallel dollar rate to -4.30" includes "Universidad Nacional Abierta Nolia Orozco (UNANO)" (an anus).
  • Black Santa Claus wonders why nobody wants to sit on his legs has the "Gran Rincón Internacional y Nacional de Compras del Hogar (GRINCH)".
  • New System of Currency has a new name: R.O.B.A.R (Steal).
  • Study: Venezuelan sadness reaches the Chavo episode where he's kicked out of the neighborhood has the "Liga de Luchadores que Ondean Risas Ante la Revolución (LLORAR)" (to cry).
  • "Venezuela legalizes medical tusi" has the Tusi Para Mario Rojas (TUPAMARO) party supporting the decision.
• Gender Bender: After the National Electoral Council's requirement of at least 40% women candidates, Henry Ramos Allup changes sex."
• The Generalissimo: Naturally, Hugo Chávez and Nicolás Maduro, but it most notably comes up in Maduro: "They'll call me a dictator, but I'm going to do everything a dictator does."
• Germans Love David Hasselhoff: In-Universe: "Opening of non-sushi restaurant causes riots in Caracas".
• Government Drug Enforcement: "PDVSA mixes oil with tusi so that those in power do not spill a single drop" has PDVSA mixing tusi into barrels of oil in order to prevent oil spills.
• Happiness Is Mandatory:
  • Maduro orders the National Bolivarian Guard to arrest people and send them to a beach carnival, based on Maduro's Real Life desperate attempts at calming things down amidst protests.
  • Averted in "Government bans happiness".
  • "Maduro orders the capture of Santa Claus and all the elves who do not obey the advance of Christmas" mocks Maduro's real-life attempts at calming things down after the 2024 election by moving Christmas up ahead by about two months.
• Heteronormative Crusader:
  • The mother of the Kid who dreams with being a bus driver and then a homophobic chancellor. (i.e. like Maduro)
  • The heckler in Intelligent discussion about gay marriage is interrupted by 'ayyy parchiiiita'.
  • "I have nothing against gays, but" says before making an homophobic remark.
  • Maduro will support gay marriage when they 'invent a vaccine against faggotry'.
• I Need a Freaking Drink:
  • Henry Ramos Allup's tongue jumps into a glass of Scottish whiskey at the end of Ramos Allup severs relations with his tongue.
  • In "Family decides to replace their Christmas tree this year with a giant bottle of Grant's", part of the reason why the family decided to do so is so that they could drink the whiskey inside when other family members come over.
  • "Chamo improves relationship with father-in-law after switching from rum to Old Parr Silver"
• Incredibly Lame Fun: Driver that kept behind an ambulance returned earlier to his sad life includes playing FIFA Soccer 2007 as part of his patheticness.
• The Intern: A recurring character is the "underpaid intern", who is constantly sent to arrange interviews and in general do anything too dangerous for the writers to do, straddling but not quite reaching Disposable Intern levels.
• Imaginary Friend:
  • Maduro begins talks with his imaginary friends and they leave the table (after the Real Life opposition refused to enter talks with him).
  • Kid sad because his imaginary friend told him he's leaving the country.
• Irony: "Chávez is Venezuela's salvation" says 1992's opposition is filled with real (but exaggerated) news about Chávez' coup that come off as ironic (mostly historical irony).
• Kangaroo Court: Leopoldo López' trial delayed until he commits a crime.
• Kids' Meal Toy: In-Universe: "Maduro announces the Cajita Clap with toys", which includes action figures of the propaganda cartoon character SuperBigote and canisters of "anti-imperialist tear gas".
• Killed Mid-Sentence: DIOSDADO THREATENS.. (after he had a bunch of media outlets that spoke against him sued.)
• Knows a Guy Who Knows a Guy: In "List of presidents who will attend Maduro's event on January 10", alongside the president of a Peppa Pig fan club on Facebook and a restaurateur who only sells dishes made with Nutella, one of the invited guests to Maduro's event "where he will dress up as the president of Venezuela" is the "advisor to the cousin of a friend of the godson of the best friend of the President of France".
• Laser Blade: Thieves start mugging using lightsabers.
• LEGO Genetics: The cultural traits in Scientists discover that the "viveza criolla" gene is in reality the "being a cocksucker" gene.
• Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics:
  • "Central Bank of Venezuela manipulates inflation figures and announces that it's musical note-heart-percent"
  • "Maduro has 65% of Maduro's popular approval according to polls."
  • "Maduro has 70% of Cilia's popular approval" (Cilia being his wife.)
  • "Revolutionary achievement: Venezuelans are richer today than tomorrow"
  • "BCV sets dollar rate at "Free""
• Loud of War: "Maduro hires a gaita group to play loudly when someone asks about the CNE's records" has Maduro hiring a gaita group known as Las Guacharacas del Éxito to drown out chants at opposition protests, and during a cadena orders them to play a gaita cover of the The Backyardigans theme.
• Low Count Gag:
  • According to "VTV leaves the CapCut mark at the end of La Hojilla", the titular mistake was noticed by the show's seven viewers.
  • "Maduro orders the last two schools left in the country to post a map with the Essequibo"
  • "TVES gets its first viewer thanks to a man whose remote control batteries died" The viewer in question, José Gutiérrez, a 58-year-old man, curses the channel out, saying "I must be the first person to watch that channel since its creation, because never before has such a severe case of blindness with diarrhea and fever been recorded due to an audiovisual product."
  • "Maduro upset because more than 12 people attended Trump's inauguration" makes fun of the poor attendance of pro-government rallies, with Maduro said to be cutting out cardboard "Chavistas" to fill empty seats.
• Manchild: Maduro is depicted as a fan of Peppa Pig and The Backyardigans, and obsesses over other pre-school shows, as evidenced by "Maduro changes his account to Netflix Kids so that Simón doesn't appear".
• Monster-Shaped Mountain: According to "Maduro: The National Electoral Council gave me the internet history of all of you", Jorge Rodríguez lives in a skull-shaped volcano.
• Moral Guardians: "Government takes Discovery Kids off the air because there is food in Peppa Pig" and "Maduro orders Discovery Kids to be blocked so that no one can see María Corina's interview in Peppa Pig" has Discovery Kids getting banned in Venezuela because of something involving Peppa Pig (the depiction of food in the former, an interview with an opposition leader in the latter).
• New Media Are Evil: Mocking the government's stance against war-related videogames and toys:
  • War videogames and toys block Caracas' streets
  • Armed Forces deploy war operation to destroy war toys
  • Chávez: Children should abandon violent videogames and go play out the streets.
• News Parody: The entire website's premise.
• The Nose Knows: In "Venezuelan president denounces that a fat squatter with a mustache entered the presidential residence", the presidential guards were able to locate the "squatter", who is obviously Maduro, through "a strong mayonnaise smell".
• Once Done, Never Forgotten: Government celebrates 11 years of the best excuse they've been given to do everything, over the April 11th coup.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: Maduro goes out with a fake mousatche so nobody recognizes him.
• Parody Religion: Chavismo and Bolivarianism are occasionally depicted as a religion as a way of mocking Chávez' cult of personality.
  • Orthodox Chavistas from 4013 criticize those who eat sugar, milk and butter.
  • Miracle: Queue to buy milk forms Chávez' face.
  • Chávez is an imaginary being created by man to explain what they don't understand.
• Patriotic Fervor: Mocked in Venezuelan happy because he was mugged on the most beautiful beach in the world, in which the subject finds reasons to be proud of his country in every terrible thing that happens to him.
• Poster-Gallery Bedroom: In "Putin gives Maduro's room to Bashar al-Assad", Vladimir Putin gives the Despicable Me-themed guest room in the Kremlin that was intended for Maduro to the fleeing Bashar al-Assad.
• Pun: "Government approves law against Facilistas" has Maduro repeatedly referring to Facilistas (the brand name once used by Kraft Singles in Venezuela, and of which it is still referred as to this day) as "Fascilistas".
• Punny Name:
  • The Recurring Character Erwe Von Esse (roughly, 'that prat').
  • When Maduro enters Globovisión with a machine gun and ends the channel once and for all, he takes on the name of McDuro (McTough).
• Real Life Writes the Plot: Most articles are based around a very recent event.
• Recurring Character: The underpaid intern who holds interviews and does menial work, and the Chigüianálisis poll analist Erwe Von Esse.
• Regenerating Health: Physicians ask patients to wait until their health bar regenerates.
• Reincarnation: Chávez reincarnates as a plankton and bankrupts the ecosystem of five oceans.
• Reptilian Conspiracy: Maduro: "The irresponsible opposition hasn't spoken against the murderous alien lizards."
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Henry Ramos Allup, in Real Life and doubly so in the website, see for example Ramos Allup severs relations with his tongue.
• Shout-Out:
  • "CNE opens office on Arrakis for Venezuelans to register for the electoral registry" involves Venezuela's melange industry.
  • "CNE requires Venezuelans abroad to bring the 7 Dragon Balls to register for the electoral registry" involves the Bolivarian regime's attempts to gain the Dragon Balls.
• Skewed Priorities:
  • "Broken bus glass replaces shooting victim in emergency room", mocking the government's focus on material damage over human life during 2014's protests.
  • In "Corpoelec announces electricity rationing in several states to supply the parts of Venezuela that did get fixed", part of the reason why the interior states have to ration electricity is so that "the people of Caracas can straighten their hair in peace."
  • "Televen interrupts exciting World Cup match due to an emergency broadcast of La Bomba" has Televen pulling an important World Cup match to instead broadcast a talk show.
• Smoking Is Cool: Lame guy really looks cooler while smoking.
• Straw Character: Very often used to mock whatever point of view the article is focusing on. The most recurrent one is Ms. María Alejandra López, a parody of classist rich pro-opposition ladies who irritate their relatives with their antics.
• Super-Fun Happy Thing of Doom: Maduro confuses the "Homeland's Plan" [i.e. the government plan] with Orwell's 1984, over the creation of the "Newscast of Truth".
• Start My Own: "Maduro interrupts Loki broadcast on TVES to warn that due to the blockade we cannot watch the Olympic Games" has Maduro mentioning he has plans for his own "Barinas 2021 Games" in response to them not getting the Olympics broadcasting rights.
• Strawman U: In ""Edmundo Presidente" graffitied on UCV wall to see if the Chavists will finally paint it", graffiti artists paint pro-Vente Venezuela slogans on a wall of the Central University of Venezuela, not only to denounce the result of the 2024 election, but also to demand that the Boliviarian regime finally provide upkeep for the very deteriorated campus of the university.
• Take That, Audience!: 365 days to complain about something you're in part responsible for.
• Take That!:
  • "Helicoide begins Joker 2 screenings" has the Venezuelan prison system using Joker: Folie à Deux as a form of psychological torture.
  • The reggae duo La Melodía Perfecta are frequently mocked, including being among those sanctioned in "Meet the newest people sanctioned by the United States" (as the U.S. State Department "knows about the auditory and psychological danger of letting them release new music.")
• Time Travel:
  • Time traveler comes from December to tell us that "yes, the dollar can rise higher".
  • Man who travelled from the year 2001 to escape from the strike reaches 2013.
  • TSJ orders the MUD to time travel and cancel primaries.
• Top Ten List: A running gag. Among many, "9 concerts that will not be cancelled in Venezuela" lists, among others: Stray Kids, who are allowed to perform since they don't record songs in Spanish (which means their songs have nothing Maduro's regime could object to), Paul Gillman, who's described as "the only artist who is giving a concert to block humanitarian aid" and is said to be headlining a concert attended by people who "never paid for an entrance ticket and are there because they were promised a CLAP bag"; Sebin También Es Gaitas, a police gaita group who have a hit titled "Electrocute the Student"; "the guy who is presenting Sábado Sensacional right now"; and The Backyardigans, who are allowed because "the president's favorite group will always have a place to perform in Miraflores", and that Pablo "will always be welcomed with a replica of Bolívar's sword covered in arequipe."
• Very Special Episode:
  • There's nothing the website won't joke about, but at one point a pause was needed. This news probably won't be funny, written in serious mode at the onset of 2014's protests over the extremely heated mood going on and particularly how difficult it was to make and take jokes in that context.
  • In a mix of this and Take That, Audience!, they ran a note titled "Black Comedy kidnaps and hurts blog readers" as an answer to having gotten a lot of "Dude, Not Funny!" reactions when, after a boxer famous for having a giant tattoo of Chavez on his chest killed his wife and then himself while detained, they joked that his autopsy revealed that the guy had tatoos of two infamous ex-presidents on his buttocks.
  • Every December 28 (which in Hispanic countries is the equivalent to April Fools' Day), they publish a serious editorial piece, usually a reflection on the events of the previous year.
• Wedding Deadline: "I oppose" yells man at church not realizing civil marriage had been a week earlier.
• What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: In-Universe example: Father watches Frozen for the fifth time pretending it's because his daughter loves it.
• Worthless Currency:
  • "BCV announces blank bill so you can draw the amount you want" has the Central Bank introducing write-your-own-amount bolívar bills.
  • "BCV attaches turkey ham to bolívars to make them worth something" has the Central Bank attaching 600 trillion slices of turkey ham to bolívar bills to counter the currency's devaluation.