Alex Shvartsman

Alex Shvartsman (born November 19, 1975) is an American science fiction and fantasy writer and editor known primarily for humorous short stories.

Quotes

Short fiction

Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma and Other Stories (2015)

No page numbers, as all quotes are from the e-book edition published by UFO Publishing

See Alex Shvartsman's Internet Science Fiction Database page for original publication details

• Expecting too much and complaining regardless of outcome is the prerogative of family.
  • Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma

• I pulled out a revolver loaded with silver bullets doused in holy water. Cliché, I know, but in my experience only the most effective solutions get to become clichés in the first place.
  • Requiem for a Druid

• I don’t like venturing into Manhattan. It is the capital of Weird in the New World.
  • Requiem for a Druid

• You can’t falsify mastery, but novelty is easy to fake.
  • The Take

• We don’t pay attention to the news, since we’re busy helping people, doing stuff that’s actually important.
  • In the Wake of the Storm

• He wasn’t out to cheat the universe of its plan for some sort of personal gain; he was trying to save his wife. There aren’t a lot of things in life powerful enough to cause a man of faith to go against what he saw as the wishes of his creator, but love certainly qualifies.
  • Fate and Other Variables

• “This is really hard to accept at sixteen, but dads are often right,” said the older man.
  • Good Advice

• Whoever coined the cliché about customers always being right clearly did not spend any time working behind the counter.
  • A Tear in the Web

• There is no such thing as a young wizard.
  • The Last Incantation